


baby it's you!

by notalosechester



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Background Relationships, Cute Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Implied Relationships, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Kim Taehyung | V Fluff, M/M, Meet-Cute, Minor Jeon Jungkook/Park Jimin, Minor Kim Seokjin | Jin/Min Yoongi | Suga, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2020-05-19 06:58:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19351822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalosechester/pseuds/notalosechester
Summary: Hoseok's new neighbor is really cute. so he tries to be a good neighbor, and they actually hit it off. things seem great until they aren't. Taehyung is stuck in the past, and Hoseok just wants to know what's wrong.aka the vhope fic no one asked for, but i wrote anyways.(pls give it a read, im in need of validation)





	1. when i first saw you i knew

**Author's Note:**

> hi hello 
> 
> im back and tbh this is kind of awful bc i cant write for the life of me but i liked this idea and i was inspired by another fic i was reading (i cant remember what it was called or who wrote it, but when i do find it, i will link it bc it was so fucking good i cried), and this was born. hopefully you like it! 
> 
> title from NCT 127's limitless (i still try to forget that era happened poor Sicheng sksnsdjkdsj;;)
> 
> pls enjoy,  
> Kay
> 
> p.s stan stray kids for clear skin and good grades ksksjs
> 
> p.p.s not sure if this counts, but there is a slight (non-graphic) implication of an abusive relationship (like a few sentences), which might go into more detail later, so if that bothers u, pls be mindful of it! uwu bye

Hoseok was nervous.

He was never usually nervous, he was usually the life of the fucking party, his friends called him loud and annoying on good days, and on the bad ones they just ignored him. But here he was, sweating like a crazy as he stood in front of his new neighbor’s door, feeling a little stupid and like someone was watching him through their peephole. Damn it Mrs. Coleman, he had been over this a million times- “Can I help you?”

Hoseok froze, thankful that he was too tense to drop the plate he was holding. Seokjin had made extras of his “world famous” chocolate chip cookies just for him to bring across the hall, even when Hoseok protested. Seokjin was just too nice, and he had made Hoseok promise to share them with his new neighbor. He turned slowly, feeling even more stupid when he saw said neighbor. It was 234D, as Hoseok had named him over the last week and a half he had spent not really but totally spying on him. He stood there, tall and pretty, amber eyes drifting over Hoseok like a breeze and making him feel weak. Jesus christ, Yoongi was right, he was such a drama queen. 

“H-hi. I’m Hoseok. From across the hall, 222C?” A look of recognition crossed 234D’s face and he nodded, smiling. Oh god, strike him dead that smile was too much. Hoseok shifted nervously.

“I’m Taehyung. If you let me pass, I can ask you to come in,” he said, smiling amusedly as Hoseok moved to the side, apologizing and feeling hot and out of his element. This was usually way easier for him, he was used to this sort of thing, but then again no one had ever looked like Taehyung. He unlocked the door, waving him in, still smiling softly. 

“Thanks. This place is nice,” he said, scanning the room, which was identical to his, but far less decorated. Taehyung laughed, and Hoseok felt his heart jump a little.

“Yeah, I’m still unpacking. Weird how you always seem to have more shit when you’re moving than when you finally settle in.” Hoseok nodded, although lots of people had told him that he just had a lot of shit in general. It was a flaw, he liked collecting stuff. 

“Can I get you a drink?” Taehyung looked at him with his bright amber eyes and Hoseok found his mouth to be impossibly dry. 

“Sure.” He followed Taehyung into the kitchen, ignoring the tiny voice in his head that was calling him a number of names because he was just so stupid, it was insane. Taehyung handed him a water bottle from the fridge and opening his own. Hoseok accepted the water and handed him the cookies.

“Sorry, these are for you. My friend made them while he was over, and they are really good so.” He shrugged a little, and Taehyung’s eyes lit up. Hoseok didn't mention how Seokjin had physically threatened him if he didn't bring them over. 

“Oh wow! These look really good,” he said, taking them and putting them on the counter, and Hoseok made a note to mention the compliment to Seokjin the next time he saw him. He would never let him live it down, the I told you so's rang in Hoseok's head already.

“Yeah Seokjin-hyung is a really good cook,” he said, taking a sip of his water. Taehyung sighed, leaning against the counter and Hoseok nearly choked. He was just leaning for christs sakes chill _out_.

“I am not a good cook. My friends all suck too, Namjoon-hyung once caught the pan on fire, abut the food was left raw.” His eyes widened comically and Hoseok laughed. They chatted for a little longer, light talk about their friends and what food they liked, until Hoseok’s phone buzzed and Yoongi was asking for help with Seokjin and his meltdown about some drama he was watching. 

“Duty calls huh?” Taehyung said, and Hoseok knew he would never get tired of his smile. 

“Yeah, my friends are being dumbasses again. Can’t let them have all the fun.” Taehyung laughed and walked him to the door.

“Right.” Hoseok felt a little brave suddenly, maybe because of the way Taehyung was looking at him, or maybe it was the way his collarbones slightly shone in the hall light, a faint glitter to them.

“Could I get your number? That way I can keep you posted on the fun,” he said, and Taehyung beamed. 

“I love fun.”

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

“Okay, spit it out,” Jimin said, his eyes never straying from the mirror where he was fixing his eyeliner.

“What?” Taehyung said, looking up from his phone.

“I know something is up, what is it?” Taehyung frowned, putting his phone down. 

“I have no idea what you mean.” He got up to check his camera and Jimin snorted delicately. Jungkook liked to say that everything Jimin did was delicate, even after he gained like 10 pounds of muscle and almost threw Namjoon out of the window once. Boyfriends.

“You started acting different recently. What is it?” Jimin was stubborn, and the determined glint in his currently blue-ish from lenses eyes made Taehyung fidget in place. 

“Nothing. I’m just tired. I stayed up unpacking again.” Jimin hummed, disbelieving as he moved on to his lip gloss.

“Whatever, don’t tell me. Jungkook’ll tell me, or I’ll figure it out myself.” Taehyung cursed internally. Jimin was infamous for that, he could sniff out a secret so deep, Namjoon liked to call him a truffle pig. Namjoon stopped calling him that directly after he got a pillow to the face that knocked him off the couch. Worse, Jungkook was a little snitch, he would blab about anything and everything if Jimin so much as batted an eyelash at him. Boyfriends. 

“I met someone,” Taehyung blurted, covering his mouth the moment he said it, regretting every life decision that had led to this very moment. He had planned to make something up, not expose himself. The clatter of Jimin’s brushes and the tube of gloss falling to the table made him open his scrunched eyes.

“You met someone?” Jimin asked, eyes wide and smile bright. He looked eager, leaning towards him.

“No. yes. Maybe.” Taehyung said, pulling his camera out the case and sitting down in the chair next to Jimin, fiddling with the buttons. 

“He’s my neighbor. He came over to welcome me the other day and we exchanged numbers. Its nothing.” Jimin bumped his shoulder.

“‘Welcomed’ you huh? Is that slang for something else?” Taehyung flushed.

“Jesus hyung, no. we didnt do anything. He just helped me unpack some.” They had unpacked a good amount of his crap last night, in between bites of take out and conversations about work and Taehyung’s school. Hoseok taught dance at a private school and Taehyung modeled and took photos on the side of taking fine art classes at the university nearby. 

“So it was a date.” Jimin looked gleeful, his eyes narrowed as he smiled. “No. It wasn’t a date.” Taehyung said loudly, making Soonyoung look over, slightly concerned.

“It was not a date hyung. He was just being nice,” Taehyung insisted, lowering his voice. Jimin laughed.

“Is he cute?” Jimin whispered, and Taehyung caught himself, his words of reproach dying in his throat. 

“Uh, yeah I, uh I guess.” That was a lie. It had been all Taehyung had been able to think about since seeing him. Taehyung had been in love with the way he smiled, his eyes sparkling and soft dimples making him look like every boy in the love stories Jungkook refused to admit he liked to read. He shouldn’t have been noticing anything about him, cute or not. 

“Okay, so you met your cute neighbor, and you went on a sort of date.” Taehyung groaned, slumping in his chair.

“So what’s the deal?” Jimin looked at him curiously.

“Nothing. There is no deal. No dealing has been had.” Like there could be even if Taehyung wanted to. He was not in the place to be in another relationship so soon. Jimin knew that too, if the slight frown on his glossed lips was anything to go by.

“Tae. I know you’re still healing, and you have every right to be sensitive,” he took Taehyung’s hand and patted it. 

“But you also owe it to yourself to find someone better than Sehun. That’s also a part of healing.” Taehyung ignored the pinch he felt at Jimin’s weirdly wise words. “I’m not saying you need to jump this guy, but he doesn’t sound so bad, I mean he came to say hi to a total stranger.” Jimin laughed. “A weird stranger, and he was nice, right?”

Taehyung nodded slowly. “So maybe he isn’t so bad?” Jimin didn’t understand. Taehyung couldn’t. He couldn’t risk having someone else forget him like Sehun had.

“Hyung, it’s not anything. It won’t _be_ anything.” Taehyung felt the beginning edges of panic creeping into his voice. If Jimin made this real, then Taehyung would think it was real, and then he would freak out because he would overanalyze the shit out of everything, more than he already did, and for fucks sake, he had already dealt with enough shit this year okay? Thoughts of his ex swirled in the forefront of his mind constantly, the way he had just been tossed aside, like nothing. Sehun had ended things only a few months ago, how could he be thinking about going out with Hoseok so soon? The rational part of his brain knew things would probably be different if he let them, but the dark part that liked to whisper things at night kept telling him that nothing would be different. They never will be. 

“You seem to be distracted. I’m guessing that this guy made that happen. If that’s true, then maybe you like him more than you thought.” he said, and Taehyung cursed his intuition. The truffle pig was at it again. Taehyung shook his head. 

“Its nothing,” he repeated, more to himself than to Jimin. He knew Jimin cared, but he didnt want to think about it. He wanted to leave that to his insomniac brain that kept him up with thoughts of Hoseok under the moonlight.

“Let’s go, I've got a shoot after this.” he stood up, but Jimin stayed seated.

“Don’t let Sehun ruin things. Just think about it.” Taehyung sighed. That was all he had been doing for the last three months.

“And let me know the moment you decide to fuck him okay, ‘cause if he is as cute as he must be to get you to lose yourself, oh boy.” Jimin smiled widely and Taehyung laughed. He had no idea.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

When Hoseok got home, he was way too tired to be cooking anything (more like reheating whatever Seokjin had left for him), so he ordered some chicken and changed out of his gross dance clothes. He tried not to think about Taehyung as he went through Instagram, liking pictures and wishing he wasn’t so alone. That night had been nice, much more than he had expected. He offered his help unpacking, and Taehyung had accepted, providing dinner and drinks. Hoseok knew that he was in a little too deep so soon, but he didn't mind. It had been a while since he felt this same rush at the thought of someone else. Maybe he was home. He opened his messages and sent a text. **_You hungry?_**

A few minutes later, Hoseok was standing in the hall outside Taehyung’s door knocking, holding the chicken the delivery guy had brought up. Taehyung answered, a wide smile on his face, music coming from the room behind him.

“Hi,” he said, sounding almost breathless, and Hoseok felt the same. 

“Hey. I brought chicken.” Taehyung ushered him in, closing the door behind him and Hoseok walked into the living room. 

“You got more unpacking done, huh.” The room was more homey looking now, odd paintings hung up with music posters for a band Hoseok had never heard of, fairy lights strung up and vases of plants all around. It was very Taehyung.

“Oh, yeah. My friends keep nagging me about unpacking.” Taehyung moved a box out of the way and waved for him to sit down. “You want water?”

Hoseok nodded. “For now,” he said, winking and smiling at the flushed giggle that Taehyung tried to hide.

“Make yourself at home,” he called, going into the kitchen. “How was your day?” 

Hoseok asked, putting the containers of food out on the little table he had out, sighing at the smell. “Oh it was fine.” Taehyung padded back into the room, holding two glasses of water and some paper plates and silverware.

“I got a new model today. Usually they’re really stiff and nervous, but she was a natural.” He smiled fondly and sat next to Hoseok, handing him his dinner things.

“That’s cool. I thought about being a model for a while.” Hoseok said thoughtfully, taking a piece of chicken.

“Really?” Taehyung’s eyes went wide behind his cup and Hoseok laughed a little.

“Yeah. But I can’t really keep a straight face, so everyone told me to stick to dancing.” Taehyung laughed, taking some chicken.

“Yeah, modelling is really hard for people like that. I have a regular I do work with, Hansol, and he can’t stop laughing.” Taehyung rolled his eyes. 

They ate and talked, Hoseok sharing about his day, and how this one kid was really good and might score a place in the school musical with his dance and vocal skills, which led to talk about musicals and movies (which Taehyung interrupted to get them some wine), which went on to music, which somehow ended up being what they disagreed the most on.

“Oh god, I don’t like rap music. It’s so invasive.” Taehyung wrinkled his nose so cutely, Hoseok had to laugh.

“It’s soothing! It lets my mind focus on what I’m doing, and its fun to sing along to.” Hoseok grinned as Taehyung shook his head, his gray hair flying around.

“No, no. Indie music is way more calming. Acoustic with vocals is the guaranteed way to put me to sleep.” He waved a dramatic hand around to indicate the light music still playing. Hoseok had to ignore the mental image of Taehyung asleep, with all of his ethereal beauty. 

“Music isn’t for sleep, then you can’t enjoy it!” Taehyung laughed and Hoseok smiled.

He had missed this kind of thing. It had been a while since he had been this intimate with someone, just them and some wine, sharing music opinions and laughing.

“I’m sorry the wonders of indie music are lost on you.” Taehyung sniffed as he finished the wine in his glass. 

“I’m sorry you can’t appreciate real art when you hear it.” Hoseok shot back, and Taehyung puffed up, cheeks pink and his eyes narrowed.

“Excuse me,” he said, and Hoseok had to contain his giggles. “I know real art.”

Hoseok’s eyes roved his face, taking in the faint smudges of makeup still around his eyes, the glitter of bronzer in his neck. He was true art. Taehyung was red now, and Hoseok realized he had said that out loud. 

“Oh god, did I-” Taehyung sipped his water now, looking away, still tomato-like. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, but.” Hoseok felt his own face flush. “It’s true.” 

Taehyung looked back at him with something Hoseok couldn’t identify in his eyes. They flashed in the warm yellow of the fairy lights, still amber from his lenses. Art. That’s what Taehyung was. He wouldn’t apologize for telling the truth. 

“So are you.” Hoseok blinked. Taehyung looked daring, his eyes sharp now. “You should have kept going with the modelling.” 

Was Taehyung closer now, or was Hoseok just drunk? He couldn’t be, he had barely drunk anything, but Taehyung was definitely closer now. His lips were so red, from lipstick or just naturally, Hoseok had no idea, but he wanted to kiss him, and now. ~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~ 

"It's getting late." 

Taehyung jumped slightly at the sound of his own voice. He hadn’t even realized he was speaking until the words escaped him. His brain had been running a million miles an hour, what with Hoseok calling him art, and the wine and his full stomach not helping him think clearly. He couldn't let this go further, even when everything in him wanted it to keep going, to see what happened.

“I have an early morning tomorrow. Thanks for dinner.” Hoseok opened his mouth, probably to protest, but Taehyung cut him off. Being in the same room as him was making his chest hurt. He wasn't sure what he had been thinking. If Hoseok stayed, Taehyung wouldn't be able to stop, and Hoseok was already dangerous, he had to keep his distance. Jimin's words ricocheted in his mind.

“I’m tired anyways.” Hoseok looked at him with a weird look on his face, and Taehyung regretted everything.

"Is this about-" Taehyung shook his head. "It's not you, it's definitely me." 

Hoseok got up, hesitating before he opened the door. “I meant what I said before. Every word.”

Taehyung blinked at him, and then he was gone, the door clicking behind him. The moment he was gone, Taehyung buried his face in the pillows piled on the couch. How could he have ever thought it would have ended differently? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to make this a chaptered thing, so the rest of this will be posted hopefully next week? i have most of this written out, and i wanted to try something new so yeehaw but im not sure if it will be more than 2 chaps or not :P
> 
> pls leave a comment and kudos, this is my first time trying something like this, so forgive me if it sucked ;;
> 
> pls follow me on tumblr @notalosechesterawinchester bc im sad and lonely lol  
> <3,  
> Kay


	2. maybe it wasn't meant to be...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahaha
> 
> here's the next part 
> 
> a bitch really thought she could write the whole thing in two chapters lmaO spoilers: im a bitch
> 
> but really thanks to those who have read this, all 9 of u make my heart beat a lil bit faster and i really hope this chapter is ok. i now feel the pain of the writers who write chaptered stuff this shit is draining im-
> 
> also i either write really short stuff or some kind of 50 paged shit, there is no in between for me so this is the best yall get lol  
> anyways pls enjoy this, i worked hard on it!  
>  Kay

Taehyung had nightmares again that night.

It had been a while since he had been jolted from his sleep, sweat making his clothes stick to him, a churning whirlpool of fear and anger and guilt in his stomach. Images of Sehun and Hoseok blurred behind his teary eyes and he wiped them furiously. This was his fault. He checked the clock on the nightstand and threw himself back into his pillows. Way too early ‘o clock. He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down, taking slow breaths. He had to make his mind up. Until then, it would be better if he just kept his distance from Hoseok. There was nothing wrong with having him over to hang out, but he couldn’t have things like last night happen again. Taehyung was already too confused, and Hoseok was already too addicting. _“I meant what I said before. Every word.”_ Taehyung laughed quietly. If only he knew. 

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Hoseok woke up to the sound of knocking on his door. He checked his phone for the time and let out a sound of despair at how early it was. 7:30. Jesus fuck. He clambered out of bed, mumbling a response as he tripped over his shoes and made it to the door. 

“Yeah,” he said, pulling the door open, wincing at the light from the hall.

“Morning hyung!” Hoseok blinked.

“Taehyung?” He straightened, the memory of being shooed out last night waking him up fully. 

“Hi.” Taehyung’s smile was still warm and bright, but Hoseok noted it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was dressed for school it seemed, plain sweatpants and a hoodie under a coat, wire-rimmed glasses perched on his elegant nose ( Could noses even be elegant? Hoseok wasn’t sure but Taehyung’s sure was.). A flicker of something rose in Hoseok’s chest.

“I wanted to apologize. About last night?” Oh. Right. The flicker faded, leaving Hoseok a little deflated, tired and alone as he drooped against the doorway. “I guess I’ve just been really busy with work, and I have some stuff going on, so I kinda took it out on you.” Taehyung’s eyes looked up at him shyly, even when he was a few inches taller. “I’m sorry that I was rude to you. I should have made my intentions clear.”

Hoseok frowned a little. “It’s okay,” he said, feeling hesitant. Taehyung had seemed so responsive to all of his advances, he had thought he was just as interested in him as Hoseok was. Maybe he had read him wrong.

“Thank you.” Taheyung bowed slightly, looking relieved. “I hope we can still be just friends?” Hoseok’s ears burned but he nodded. Right. “I, uh. I made muffins. They aren’t as good as Seokjin-ssi’s cookies, but I think they’re pretty good.” Taehyung offered him the plastic wrapped baked good and Hoseok took it, ignoring how his hand burned from where Taehyung touched it. 

“I have to go, or I’ll be late for class. Sorry again for waking you up. Maybe we can hang out this weekend?” He looked so hopeful, his now brown eyes wide and pretty and Hoseok found himself nodding.

“Sure.” after he closed the door, he sank to the floor with his back pressed against it. Taehyung had just handed him back his heart in a little seran-wrapped package. ~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~ 

“You’re late!” Namjoon hissed at him as he sat down in Art History. “Yeah, I know, I know.” he said back, rolling his eyes and pulling his notebook out of his messenger bag. He had left early and was still late. Go figure. He grabbed a pencil and started jotting down what Namjoon had on his page. “You spend 20 minutes taking pictures of pigeons again?” Namjoon whispered, and Taehyung shot him a look. That was one time, and it was for a project, couldn’t he get that?

“No. I just had to drop something off.” He squinted at Namjoon’s notes. What the fuck. How could he read this? 

“Was it for your neighbor?” Taehyung’s neck complained as he snapped his head up from the mess of Hangul and English on the smudged notebook paper. 

“Who-” Jimin. Talk about friends, huh? He sighed and pushed the notes back to him, ignoring the smug smile on Namjoon’s face. “Yes, actually.” He relished the look of surprise on his face until someone turned around to shush them. He mumbled a sorry, and they both looked up at the professor, trying to understand the difference between modernism and postmodernism.

“Don’t be mad at Jimin, it just came up. He didn’t say if you guys were doing it. Are you?” Taehyung glanced at Namjoon.

“No, we are not ‘doing it.’” he sighed as he finished the last line of notes. “I don’t have time or the emotional capacity to be with someone right now. I need time.” he said, looking at Namjoon with a pleading gaze, hoping he wouldn’t pry. 

“Sure,” Namjoon nodded. “I get that. But just be careful. If this guy likes you, you shouldn’t lead him on.” Taehyung nodded, wincing internally at how Hoseok had stared at him that morning.

“Yeah.” he wanted to go back in time to give his younger self a good shake, slap some sense into him before he went around hurting himself with other people. Before he couldn’t stand to be alone, but had no choice but to be. His best option right now was to hope Hoseok just took it in stride and forgot that anything might have happened. 

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Hoseok had been rejected a few times. In elementary school, Laney Halloway had told him he had a horse face and didn’t want to hold his hand. In high school, Daniel B. had refused to speak to him after Hoseok told him he was cute. Usually, it didn’t bother him much, he always had an optimistic outlook on life, trying to see the silver lining when he could. His grandmother had taught him to push through the bad things to better appreciate the good things. “There can be no light without darkness, Hobi-ah,” she would say sagely, nodding behind her knitting as Hoseok sat at her feet with the ball of yarn. But his mind kept replaying the look on Taehyung’s face that morning. It hurt, he wasn’t gonna lie. Being friend-zoned shouldn’t hurt this much, especially since there hadn’t really been anything there in the first place. But it did. And while Hoseok had leaned in, overeager and tried to kiss him a little, but Taehyung had been just as receptive. Or had he? Confusion swirled in Hoseok’s brain and he shook it to clear it. “Let’s run the last 10 measures just to warm up, okay? Places please,” he called, clapping his hands and watching as his students put their things away and lined up. He pressed play on the dock and tried to forget all about Taehyung. 

Class was good, Hoseok worked his kids hard, but they responded well, showing him their abilities with grace, and he felt proud of them. He loved teaching, it was so gratifying, being able to see the effects of his work right in front of him. The kids were great too, a few of them showed really strong promise for a future in dance, Minho and Jongin both had great skill, their stage presence was amazing, and their singing was getting better too, which he heard about non-stop from Seokjin. He liked to show off, both in his cooking and his students.

After work, Seokjin invited him to go out to eat with him and Yoongi, to which Hoseok accepted, thinking about running into Taehyung in the building and hoping he would be home before he got back. He wasn’t being petty, he just didn’t think he would be able to see him again without wanting to get some answers from him. He just needed time to cool off. A drink and some grilled meat would help for sure. Yoongi picked them up from school and they went to a little place by their apartment that reminded Hoseok of his mother’s kitchen. He was just sentimental like that. They ordered and ate, Seokjin poured them their soju and Yoongi going off about how the new kid at work didn’t know how to stack records and if he saw him making eyes at Woojin again he was going to fire him for fuck’s sake. Hoseok laughed. 

“You would never. Chan is too nice.” Yoongi shrugged. “Nice never won anyone anything.” Hoseok thought about Taehyung, and how nice had gotten him nothing.

“How’s your neighbor? Taehyung was it?” Seokjin asked around a mouthful of food. 

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Hoseok said, poking at his rice. “He likes your cookies.” Taehyung had gone on and on about them actually.

“You should invite him over for dinner, I could make something for you.” Seokjin’s smile was almost painful to see.

“I don’t know, he and I are kind of weird,” he said, avoiding their gazes.

“What happened?” Yoongi asked, looking at him curiously.

“I guess he doesn’t want anything to do with me other than being neighbors.” Saying it out loud was even worse. It made it real, and it reminded Hoseok of how clueless he was. “It’s fine though,” he went on, putting on a smile and looking at their now sympathetic faces. “I didn’t like him that much. He’s cool though, and he said we can still be friends.” That’s what made it worse. Being allowed to be near him but having to ignore everything that made him want to be with him. Hoseok tried to be positive. But sometimes there was nothing there. ~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~ 

Taehyung was tired. It had been a long day of classes and note taking, and trying to make sense of why he had chosen to do school and work, but he was satisfied with the work he had gotten done. He and Namjoon had collabed with Wooyoung and Kihyun for their project, which looked like it would get them all a good grade, and he had aced that test in graphic communications. Jimin had found him and dragged him to eat at his house with him because Jungkook was out working late again, and now he was ready to get inside and crash. He was trying to open his door, gloves in one hand keys in another, when he looked up to hear voices from the elevators, only two doors down from him.

“-And I told her, I said, corn doesn’t need to be so darn expensive, and she told me ‘well, I don’t control the prices’, real snooty like, and I told her, 'listen here young lady, I don’t think-’” It was Mrs. Coleman, with Hoseok in tow, who was carrying paper bags full of groceries as he nodded along, listening to her grocery horror stories. Taehyung knew all about those, he had been subjected to the once a week at least when she would catch him by the mailboxes or in the elevator. He looked cute, nodding earnestly as he walked along with her groceries, and Taehyung mentally slapped himself. You can’t think that anymore. Get it together man. They walked past and Hoseok looked up to smile at him lightly, and Taehyung felt something inside him crack a little.

“Oh hello Taehyung! How are you? You look so thin, have you been eating?” Mrs. Coleman asked, stopping in front of him to look him up and down.

“Yes ma’am, I have. How are you?” Her response was lost to him as he noticed Hoseok also looking him up and down before he seemed to catch himself. They shared a look and Taehyung raised his eyebrows like ‘I know, she talks a lot, huh’ and Hoseok stifled a small laugh.

“Oh, well that’s good,” he said, at the end of what he assumed as a detailed description of why she was in the current state she was. “Listen, it was nice seeing you but I gotta go hit the hay. Take care now.” He waved and she smiled and waved back, and Taehyung escaped into his apartment. Finally. He dropped all his things on the couch and put his slippers on, yawning and checking his phone. It was only 10, but he felt so tired and his neck hurt from sleeping weird last night. He decided to shower since he had a half day of class and then a shoot after lunch, and he wouldn’t have time to come back and prep. As he was coming out of the steam filled shower, he heard a knock on the door. He got dressed quickly and threw his robe on before answering.

“Oh. Hi.” It was Hoseok, looking awkward and shy as he held something in his hand.

“Sorry to bother you,” he said, and the whole scene seemed too familiar for Taehyung to be comfortable. He was suddenly aware of the fact that he was wearing just some boxers and his bathrobe. He drew it around himself and tried to seem relaxed. “I found your glove. You dropped it.” His striped glove was held out, and he took it.

“Thanks. I didn’t even realize it was gone.” He smiled a little but Hoseok looked at the ground. 

“Listen, I wanted to say, if I did something, or said something that made you uncomfortable last night-” Taehyung’s eyes went wide.

“Oh god no. no, no, it’s fine. Like I said, it’s not you, it’s all me.” Hoseok nodded slowly, like he didn’t know what to think. Taehyung couldn’t blame him. He sighed and tucked the ends of his bathrobe tie in. 

“I just. I was flattered, by what you said, and I meant what I said too,” Hoseok looked at him and Taehyung kind of wanted to say it was all bullshit and that he didn’t mean anything. “It’s just that I think it would be better if we stayed just friends. I don’t really have time for that sort of thing right now. It wouldn't really be fair.”

Hoseok was silent for a second and then he spoke. “Okay. Yeah, it’s not really a good time for me either.”

Taehyung blinked at him. “Okay, cool.” They stood there for a little bit, and Hoseok’s face looked a little weird, like he was trying to keep totally still. Taehyung twisted the tie around his fingers, still holding the glove in his hand, feeling terrible just standing.

“So I’m gonna go,” he said, and Hoseok nodded, a little aggressively.

“Right, okay. Glad we fixed this up.” Taehyung tried to smile, but felt like it was just a wince.

“Goodnight.” He went back inside, pressing against the door when it was closed, feeling like he had torn a band-aid off, but the pain was still there. On a whim, he looked through the peephole and saw Hoseok still standing there, looking lost. He wanted to open the door and tackle him and say he was sorry and that if Hoseok wanted to kiss him it was okay, and if he wanted to do more than that then he could, but he didn’t.

He watched as Hoseok walked away, and he did nothing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u have made it this far, thanks so much u are the real mvp and i hope u liked this so far!!! 
> 
> pls follow my tumblr, @notalosechesterawinchester and support AB6ix and their debut (Breathe is a bop its all i listened to while writing this lol)
> 
> new chapter hopefully up next week, i'm going on vacation then, but maybe i can write some this weekend if i dont decide to procrastinate and watch mvs all day kek
> 
> have a great week!   
>  Kay


	3. just friends, i guess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a few facts about me:  
> -i procrastinate like its the only way i stay alive, honestly its a problem.  
> -i went out of the country for about 8 days and i came back and got sick. like, violently, so i was unable to do anything but lay in bed and wish i was actually dead lol  
> -my writing sucks (u know this), and when i cant write then i cant. its useless to try. this is my excuse for the short chapter hehe  
> -my school starts in like a week, so i will be posting way less, so pls dont be mad (like all 3 of u who care lmao).  
> -idk what im doing (we all knew this).
> 
> enjoy! <3  
> Kay

Hoseok could do ‘just friends.’ sure, he could do anything. No problem. 

Who was he kidding, no he couldn’t. Taehyung had made being just neighbors difficult, no way was he going to survive being just friends. 

A part of him hated Taehyung, hated the hold he had over him, the power he exercised so blindly. How dare he ask Hoseok to be ‘just friends’? How could he when Hoseok had been so ready to be more than that? But the more sensible part of him was calm about the whole situation, reasoning that something bigger was at play here, and that he just had to be patient. Maybe one day Taehyung would have time for him. Until then, if Taehyung needed a friend, then Hoseok would be the best goddamn friend that had ever walked the face of this earth. Jung Hoseok never did anything half-way.

Even if it hurt to breathe in the same space as Taehyung.

So they were just friends. It was a little awkward at first, as they texted, trying to skirt around the subject of dating which suddenly all topics seemed to lead to, but they made it work. They had been a bit too busy to actually get together, and Hoseok was thankful, throwing himself into his work helped keep his mind off of obvious things that made him feel out of control. He was weird like that. He liked to know that things were under his control, that he could change things as he needed. Yoongi called him a neat freak, which was funny considering the state of his desk, but he supposed mentally he was. The few times they got together, it wasn’t as painful as Hoseok had thought it would be. They met for coffee in between Taehyung’s sessions and Hoseok’s classes sometimes, talking about everything but the giant, hulking elephant that was sipping out of Hoseok’s mug. But that was okay. They didn’t have to. Hoseok was better off if they didn’t and he got the feeling that Taehyung felt the same way too. So they talked about work and school, and it turns out, Taehyung knew little to nothing about dance or music, but he did know a lot of famous people, which Hoseok was totally jealous about. 

“You know Hyungwon?” he gaped once, and Taehyung hid his giggle behind his mug as he nodded.

“He and I do lots of work together actually. He was a model before he started his whole music career you know,” he said, looking almost smug, and Hoseok fumed quietly.

“God, you’re so lucky, Hyungwon is a dancing legend, and a killer DJ.” Taehyung snorted into his latte and wiped his nose.

“‘Killer’?” Hoseok rolled his eyes. Taehyung was always making fun of his word choice. So he wasn’t going to win a Pulitzer, no big. “People stopped using ‘killer’ in the early 2000s Seok-hyung, get with it.” 

Hoseok took a long swig of his caramel swirl frappe and ignored the thrill he got from the nickname. “Says the guy who totally used ‘radical’ to describe a shirt the other day,” Hoseok grinned at the way Taehyung turned blush red under his beanie. 

“That was a one time deal, and besides-” Taehyung’s excuse was cut off by his phone going off. He answered with a ‘god, what is it now’ kind of “Hello?” and he smiled apologetically at Hoseok before standing up and walking to the windows behind their table and talking quietly. Hoseok scrolled through Instagram for a little bit, finishing his drink, reading a few texts from Seokjin that asked if he still had groceries or not. Taehyung came back, looking a little upset and frustrated.

“I’ve told them a hundred times, and they still fuck it up.” Hoseok looked up at him, watching as he flopped down onto his chair. 

“What happened?” Taehyung rubbed his eyes and for the first time Hoseok realized how tired he looked. No wonder, if everything he had been telling Hoseok was true, he was pulling all nighters and getting maximum 4 to 5 hours of sleep at night. The thought made Hoseok’s body ache in sympathy.

“The concept for the shoot we’re doing today changed like 20 minutes ago. The shoot is in a few hours and the model isn’t bad but her agent is a devil, and she likes to spread gossip about anything. Me missing the mark on anything will give her ammo for days,” Taehyung sighed, and Hoseok reached for his outstretched hand on the table. It was on instinct, like reaching for a stinging cut, and Taehyung looked up in surprise.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. You still have some time, and if anyone can pull it off, it’s definitely you. You can go now, and you’ll get there in time.” Hoseok smiled at him. Taehyung’s face changed, easing from his pained frustration to a hopeful shyness.

“Really? You don’t mind that I have to go?” Hoseok refused to feel the pang of sadness on the mention of ending their time together.

“No. we can always hang out after you knock this shoot out of the park.” Taehyung laughed, and Hoseok felt the tension ease from his hand. Taehyung squeezed it slightly, and he stood up, pulling his warm hand away. Hoseok missed it immediately.

“Thank you. I’ll make this up to you somehow!” He gathered his stuff and dashed away, smile bright. Hoseok sat back in his seat, tracing the lines on his palm, the phantom feeling of Taehyung’s hand in his.

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Taehyung still felt like his hand was resting in Hoseok’s even days after the whole ordeal. He knew it was dumb, and probably not good that he was thinking about it still, but he let himself have that tiny give in his usually restrained emotions regarding his neighbor. It had helped, grounded him and focused him on the headspace he had to be in to make sure he made the shoot what it had to be. He also missed having someone care enough to say that. Sehun hadn't ever shown much interest in his work past Taehyung's face. It went well, Jisu was a natural, and she was much nicer than Hwasa, who managed still to find something to pick at, but Taehyung had ignored her. Soonyoung and Chanhee had been a little more defensive, but he had told them to relax. Now, a few days later, he and Namjoon were hanging out, walking to the marketplace by the park to find some cool food or snacks after spending the morning in an art museum. 

Namjoon had a date that night, so he was looking for some flowers, and Taehyung had to find what he was going to make for dinner. Out of all his friends, he and Jimin were the least dangerous in the kitchen, and not afraid of the appliances (poor Jungkook refused to step foot in the kitchen while the microwave was in use), so he consulted his list of known dishes to find groceries.

“Tae, how’s your neighbor?” Namjoon asked as he scanned yet another flower cart. 

“He’s fine. Did you know he likes Hyungwon’s music? He really looks up to him,” Taehyung said, sniffing a bright yellow daisy. He still owed him for the coffee date- _meeting_ he had cut short with him. “Oh, Won-hyung told me about this party he’s having next month for Wonho’s company. Maybe I can invite Hoseok too, I bet he would love to meet him.” Taehyung smiled to himself at the thought of Hoseok’s would-be reaction.

Namjoon hummed, looking at him with raised eyebrows over a sunflower. “I’m not sure that sends ‘friend’ vibes,” he said, and Taehyung blinked. 

“What do you mean?” Namjoon poked at a bunch of irises, asking the price before answering.

“Well, you said you wanted to be just friends, right? Maybe he’ll take it the wrong way. I mean it’s pretty date sounding.” Namjoon looked at him with neutral eyes and Taehyung frowned.

“I wouldn’t mean it as a date…” he trailed off, stroking the sunflowers Namjoon had been looking at. “Friends invite each other to things all the time. I went to your office christmas party last year after Mingi dumped you,” he said, and Namjoon made a face at the name. “We weren’t dating then,” he said, seeing the price for the sunflowers and pulling out his wallet.

“Yeah. but we haven’t ever almost kissed.” Namjoon moved on to the next flower cart. Taehyung paid for his flowers and hurried after him. “What I mean is, there’s history there between you. You just have to be clear, that’s all.” Namjoon kept looking at the flowers, and Taehyung moved over to let a lady pass. He supposed that an invite to a party did kind of sound date-ish. But Hoseok would really like to meet Hyungwon, and it would be much more fun with someone Taehyung knew and actually liked… jesus. Maybe it was a date. He sighed and hoisted his flowers to his other arm.

“You’re right. I can always think of something else. Maybe I can get him like a gift card or something.” Namjoon laughed, shaking his head. “You are so weird Taehyung. I’m not saying to not do it. Just be aware. Do these look nice or are they too gaudy?” he asked, suddenly looking concerned as he eyed the bouquet he was holding. They were pretty flowers, pale roses and white daisies with bits of fern here and there.

“Its nice,” Taehyung nodded and then he raised and eyebrow, watching him pay. “What’s with this whole flower picking ritual? You’re never this bothered with a date.” Namjoon looked embarrassed.

“I just want this date to go well. I like this- person.” Taehyung narrowed his eyes at the weird pause in between words.

“What was-”

“Namjoon!” An unfamiliar voice calling out made them both look up. A tall, very good looking man was waving at him from across the market, a smile that made Taehyung feel shy suddenly on his face. 

“Oh my god,” Namjoon turned red and he looked panicked. The tall guy jogged across the crowd to them, Namjoon practically vibrating in an anxious fit. “Seokjin! I didn’t think you would be here, I was just looking for some stuff with Taehyung here, we just-”

“You’re Taehyung? Oh yeah, Hoseok mentioned you.” A slightly more forced smile crossed his handsome face.

“Wait, what?” Taehyung said, frowning. Was this the Seokjin, the one who made cookies Taehyung still dreamt of? And what did he mean by ‘mentioned’? The way he said it made it seem like Hoseok had said bad stuff. Not that Taehyung cared or anything but-

“Je-Sus christ, hyung what is wrong with you? I called you four times! Turn your stupid phone on!” Hoseok appeared out of nowhere, looking out of breath and annoyed as he looked up at the tall guy. He noticed who he was with and did a double take, which would have been funny if Taehyung wasn’t so fucking confused. “Oh, hi.” 

Everyone was still for a moment. “What are you guys doing here?” He asked, looking at the flowers in both of their arms.

“We came from the museum. They have a really pretty water exhibit there today, and we came here for flowers,” he said, lightly jostling the sunflowers in his arms. “Namjoon-hyung is helping me, their for a shoot,” he explained, smiling slightly at the relieved look on Namjoon’s face.

“Oh yeah, you do photography right? That’s cool,” said Seokjin, looking mildly impressed. Taehyung glanced at Hoseok who was nudging his hyung with a forced smile on his face. 

“Yeah it is, anyways, we have to go now so, see you later Taehyung. Nice meeting you Namjoon.” Hoseok pushed Seokjin forward, and they watched them go, Namjoon waving at them. 

“God, I didn’t think he would come up to me, I thought he was gonna think we were dating and-” Taehyung tuned out his ramblings, watching as Hoseok disappeared into the crowd. He had hoped they could just forget the whole ordeal, but it seemed that Hoseok was having trouble with that. Hopefully it wouldn’t cause anything between them. Namjoon was right, he had to be careful. ~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~ 

Hoseok wasn’t sure what he felt inside when he saw Namjoon with Taehyung. He had heard about him sure, he was a music producer and lyricist that sometimes went to work at Hoseok’s school, and he was the one who broke everything he touched, but Taehyung had neglected to mention how good looking he was. Maybe he had on purpose. He wasn’t Hoseok’s type really, more bookish and quiet, but he was cute when he blushed, and he had pretty eyes (never like Taehyung), and Hoseok had to wonder about him and Taehyung. It was the first time he saw him with someone else. And he didn’t like how it made him feel. Jealousy, he supposed it was. 

“You guys look weird.” Yoongi said when they got back from the market, looking between them.

“We saw Namjoon at the market,” Seokjin said, and Yoongi’s eyes widened.

“Oh, really?” Seokjin glanced at Hoseok. “Yeah, he was with Taehyung. Apparently, they’re friends.” Hoseok snorted and they both looked at him.

“Yeah, right. Friends.” He didn’t like how helplessly rage filled he felt at the thought of that nerd with Taehyung. Yoongi and Seokjin looked at each other. “They’re probably dating.” The thought made his head spin. God, what. 

“Uh, no. they aren’t.” Seokjin said, frowning slightly. Hoseok looked at him, flopping down onto the couch next to Yoongi. 

“And how do you know?” he asked. 

“Because we’re dating him.” Yoongi deadpanned, looking at Hoseok with not a trace of a joking tone in his voice.

“What?” he sat up quickly. They were...dating Namjoon? 

“We met at school,” Seokjin explained, looking shy for once in his shameless life. “I told Yoongi about him, and it turns out they had done some work together before in the studio.” he shrugged and smiled down at Yoongi who looked smug. “We asked him out and we’re seeing him tonight.”

Hoseok blinked at all the new information that had hit him. Wow. okay. So that was one severe misunderstanding.

“Sorry, is this weird? Maybe we should have made sure you were okay with it-” Hoseok shook his head and he stood up to take Seokjin’s hand. 

“No hyung, no! It’s fine, just a little surprising. Besides, you’re all adults, you don’t need my permission for anything. Just, use protection,” he grinned, and Yoongi snorted. The relief he felt in his chest was overwhelming. Maybe he still had a chance. Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you liked this chapter!! even if it doesnt look it, i really worked hard on it. i literally rewrote this like 5 times and hated it every time, this one was the one i hated the least :P 
> 
> pls leave a comment and a kudos, 1 comment/kudos = 1 seratonin for my thirsty brain  
> also follow me on tumblr @notalosechesterawinchester bc im thAt ho3 lol
> 
> i might be posting a new fic soon, idk it depends on several things, and im starting school so thats gonna rot whats left of my soul away yay !!
> 
> have a great week luvs xx  
> Kay


	4. i still feel the rush in my veins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this is my attempt at writing fluff? but i got interrupted halfway by my stupid ass brain that likes Projecting Emotions onto my characters bc why the fuck not uwu
> 
> the title of the chapter is from The Kids Aren't Alright by Fall Out Boy bc im an emoTM lmao  
> also i really like patrick stumps voice when he sings that line ok so yea
> 
> im not really sure what time of the year or what city they are in, i tried to make it as neutral as possible so it could be korea or the u.s. but idk so,
> 
> any mistakes are mine coz i dont have a beta rip (yea ik my other chapters have problems im working on it k ;;)
> 
> pls enjoy!  
> Kay

“I can’t believe you don’t like Reese’s.”

Hoseok’s tone was accusatory and Taehyung was having trouble breathing with his mouth full of ice cream as he laughed.

“I like peanut butter,” he said, after swallowing. “And I like chocolate. Just not together,” he said, and Hoseok took an indignant slurp of his milkshake. “I can’t believe you don’t like ice cream on a cone.” Hoseok frowned, scrunching his nose and the secret part of Taehyung’s brain that was devoted to Thoughts About Hoseok squealed.

“It’s too messy,” he said, using his straw to lick a bit of whipped cream off the top of his milkshake. Taehyung’s mind swirled around the gutter, trying to take the image of Hoseok licking white cream off his straw and make it ruin Taehyung’s life. Head in the game, Kim.

“Okay that’s fair, but it’s ice cream. It’s still good?” Hoseok shook his head.

“I am way too OCD to enjoy something messy, regardless of how good it is.” Oh. His words seemed to float between them, and Taehyung hated that it made his face go hot. Sweet jesus. Hoseok coughed awkwardly, his face now pink, from the cold or from what he said, Taehyung wasn’t sure. It was probably too cold to be eating ice cream outside, but Hoseok had offered and Taehyung was a sucker for anything sweet (like Hoseok, jesus fucking christ help him), so they had walked to the little ice cream stand in the park that was somehow still open in the sharp weather and sat on a bench nearby. Hoseok had explained that he had problems with messy things and couldn’t stand eating ice cream out of a cone as he ordered a Reese’s milkshake, and Taehyung had countered with his dislike for peanut butter cups.

“So, how’s work?” Taehyung asked, trying to ignore what just happened.

“Oh, it’s great.” Hoseok’s eyes lit up the way they did when he talked about work. Taehyung admired the way he loved his job, his devotion to his kids and dance. He was an animated talker, his hands moving as he spoke about his favorite students and their potential, and the upcoming performance. “The kids want me to do my own dance for the performance,” he admitted, and Taehyung perked up. Hoseok dancing...huh.

“That sounds cool,” he said, and Hoseok hummed a bit.

“I don’t know. I haven’t performed in a little while. My last time in front of people was in my college final.” Taehyung laughed.

“It wasn’t _that_ long ago. I’m sure you’re a great dancer, you teach after all.” Hoseok smiled at him, his eyes shy. 

“You haven’t even seen me though,” he said, and Taehyung shrugged.

“I can just tell.” He gave his ice cream a bite. “I have a radar for talented people.” Hoseok laughed and Taehyung grinned. 

“Speaking of that, how’s your work?” Taehyung sighed a little.

“I’m in between jobs right now. My last shoot was okay. It was with a few old friends from modelling school.” Hoseok finished his milkshake with a loud slurp that made Taehyung cringe a little and laugh.

“There’s model school?” he asked incredulously. Taehyung gave him a ‘duh’ look. 

“Yes, of course there is.” Hoseok giggled (freaking _giggled_ , god Taehyung wanted to file a complaint), and Taehyung bit a chunk of his cone off.

“What do they teach you there?” he asked, smiling. 

“How to walk and stand around, how to look at the camera. A lot of it is instinctual actually,” Taehyung said, licking a bit of strawberry off his finger. “Basically it’s a ‘sit and look pretty’ kind of thing.” he said, and Hoseok nodded, looking a little distant. Taehyung figured it was weird and boring, modelling didn’t really seem like something you needed a school for, but oh well.

“Would I know these friends?” he asked,coming back to earth to looking excitedly at Taehyung, which made him laugh a little.

“Not sure. Moonbin does a lot of perfumes, and Wonwoo does Adidas sometimes. Jaehyun-” Hoseok’s mouth made a perfect ‘o’ as he gaped at Taehyung who had to mentally slap himself. “What?” he asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious, wiping at his mouth with his hand, fixing his glasses and looking at him.

“You. You know them?” he said in a reverent tone, and Taehyung felt a little flood of relief and he smiled. “Yeah,” he said, enjoying the way Hoseok just stared. 

“Wow. that’s so cool, I wish I knew famous people.” A slight frown twisted his mouth. 

“Well, you know me, so that’s close enough I guess?” Taehyung offered. Hoseok looked at him with something bright in his eyes.

“Of course you’re enough. I can only take so many beautiful people knowing me at once.” Taehyung could barely feel the cold with the warmth that bloomed on his face. 

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Hoseok wasn’t really one to dwell on the past, he liked to focus on the future, move forward and all that stuff. Out of the small number of things he regretted openly, not kissing his neighbor while he had the chance was one of them.

He should have just dived forward and taken that kiss. But he had hesitated instead, and now he had to suffer with the idea that he might have been able to actually change Taehyung’s mind about not having time for him. Hoseok had been told he was a good kisser by a number of trusted sources, it could have worked. Regret kept filling him every time he saw Taehyung’s ( _pretty, pretty_ ) lips.

There was a list of times that Hoseok was subconsciously keeping track of in which he was tempted to just give in and kiss Taehyung. As friends do. The first time was the Ground Zero for this whole mess, Taehyung had looked too unreal for him not to want to kiss him, really he was art. A little while after that, they had met for coffee, and Taehyung had been scrolling through his phone looking for a picture of his friend’s cat, and he had been so adorable with his focused little pout, Hoseok had to physically contain himself. At this point he would need some kind of therapy to recover after every time they met up. The most recent time was at the park, when they had (foolishly, on Hoseok’s part) gone out for ice cream. Hoseok had watched as he licked the pink cream off his fingers and he really wanted to lick it off for him. He just knew that his mouth would have tasted like strawberries, sticky-sweet and addicting.

Maybe Hoseok was just being dramatic. It sure didn’t feel like it. 

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Taehyung liked to think he was pretty rational.

Of course, a few items that had been added to his wardrobe over the years might be used as evidence against him, but otherwise, he was pretty chill. He liked to think things through carefully before doing anything, which was why he was so bad at thinking on his feet. It was also why he was fidgeting as he waited for Hoseok outside of his apartment, checking the time for the nth time, and wishing he hadn’t committed.

He should have just cancelled, or called in sick or something, curled up on his couch and watched the rest of his drama. It was getting interesting, the lead had found out her brother was the killer and the detective had-

Hoseok’s door opened and he stepped out, looking like a model (Taehyung should know), wearing a flowy, flowered shirt tucked into some jeans that made Taehyung wish he had let Hoseok kiss him. He was tugging his jacket on, and Taehyung kind of forgot how to breathe. What was happening?

“Wow. you look nice.” he managed, feeling nervous and afraid and all kinds of other unnameable things. Hoseok smiled, which Taehyung noticed was also a little nervous and he tried to calm himself down.

“Thanks. You do too,” Hoseok said sincerely, and Taehyung let out a slightly hysterical laugh.

“Sorry, I’m just nervous. I’ve never taken a friend to work.” Hoseok lifted a fine eyebrow up and Taehyung mentally screamed. When did Hoseok have such nice eyebrows? Why hadn’t he noticed? They were really nice eyebrows.

“Really?” Taehyung shook his head and clutched his messenger bag, trying to shut his dumb brain up. Jesus fuck.

“No. Jimin is the only friend that goes to work with me sometimes, but he like, actually works there.” He felt like he was talking too much but also like he wasn’t even saying anything. “So. shall we go?” Hoseok smiled softly at him and nodded.

Taehyung tried to keep it together in the elevator. He had no idea why this was so wildly traumatizing for him. It was just Hoseok. Hoseok. His neighbor. Right. They walked to the studio that Byul-yi told him she was using, Hoseok talking most of the way there, which Taehyung was thankful for. He was trying to make sure he didn’t say anything else dumb as his insides twisted around.

“Uh, you can wait here, I have to go get dressed.” Taehyung turned to Hoseok who looked around the studio once they were inside, taking in the lights and the set. He looked overwhelmed, eyes wide and adorable, not like Taehyung noticed or anything. 

“Okay. Have fun,” he said, making Taehyung smile for a second. He hurried off to the dressing area that was curtained off, trying to still his rapidly beating heart. God, he was such a baby, there was nothing to be nervous about. He had modelled for years now, and here he was, a mess, feeling like it was the first time he was stepping out.

It had taken him a while to get used to all the people who were actually involved in photoshoots, and the jitters he used to get when he was younger came rushing back. If he messed up, Hoseok would know. If he did anything wrong, Hoseok would know, and probably judge him, and that was precisely the opposite of what Taehyung wanted to do. He didn’t want Hoseok to see all the flaws in his life, which surely he probably had figured out by now. Messing up here in front of him would be the beginning of every terrible thing Taehyung ever did coming to light. Maybe he could just slip out-

“Tae? What’s wrong?” Jungwoo came out of his cubicle, dressed in light yellow and faded white, giving Taehyung a concerned look. In a split second he had Taehyung wrapped up in a cinnamon smelling hug.

“Hi,” he said quietly. “I brought a friend, and now I’m nervous,” he said, feeling silly as he spoke, tilting his head against Jungwoo’s shoulder. Jungwoo’s face broke into his radiant smile as he pulled away and Taehyung felt a little better. Jungwoo was nice like that. He had a sweet aura that put people at ease. He and Yukhei were a splendid couple, both like small sunbeams that walked the earth. 

“Oh, I know how you feel. Whenever Yukhei comes with me, I feel like I might mess up. He’s actually here today too.” He smiled shyly and Taehyung shook his head.

“You do amazing in hiding it, I can never tell.” he said, and Jungwoo giggled, making him smile.

“Thanks. It’s okay to feel a little nervous though. It just means you want to do well. If you just focus on the camera and on me, we can do fine,” he said, and Taehyung took a deep breath. “I won’t let you mess up, I promise!” he said, gently squeezing his shoulders. 

“Thanks, Woo.” He felt the knots of tension ease up at Jungwoo’s touch and he straightened up. “I’m gonna go change. See you out there.” 

After getting dressed, and going through hair and makeup, Taehyung felt the twists of his stomach return. Great.

From the dressing area, he could see Hoseok and Yukhei talking, both loud and bright, making a few of the crew look over. Jungwoo had joined them, sitting prettily on Yukhei’s lap and smiling at Hoseok. Why had he come up with this? It was a disaster waiting to happen. He carefully walked out of the dressing room, trying to pass unnoticed as he approached them.

“Oh wow. You look really…” Hoseok’s voice trailed off when he saw him, leaving Taehyung with a red face and sweaty palms.

“Pretty. Doesn’t he look pretty?” Jungwoo said, looking at Taehyung with a fond gleam in his eye. Hoseok just blinked at him, and Taehyung squirmed.

“Yeah. pretty.” 

“We gotta go now, bye.” Jungwoo waved back at them as Taehyung took his arm and lead him to the set, trying to ignore the tiny swirl of pleasure that coursed through him at the thought of Hoseok’s face when he saw him. 

“Your boyfriend is so cute! I can’t believe you’ve never brought him around.” Jungwoo said sweetly, making Taehyung’s windpipe close. Oh god, had Hoseok said something? “He’s not- we aren’t,” he spluttered.

“Oh, sorry! I just thought that you-” Jungwoo turned pink and his brow scrunched.

“It’s fine. We just aren't together. He’s my neighbor, we’re just friends.” Taehyung's face was hot now, and he felt strangely exposed. Jungwoo opened his mouth to speak but Byul-yi’s voice made them both look up. 

“Hey boys. You ready?” They both nodded, and they got into their spots for the first few pictures. Before the camera started clicking away, Taehyung saw Hoseok on the other side of all the crew, watching. He had a look in his face, much like the one kids had when they saw the Milky Way for the first time. It was precious, and it made Taehyung feel something swooping in his stomach.

Suddenly, the nervous energy that was eating away at him faded to nothing, and he was left with the thought that when Hoseok watched him, it didn’t feel like he could do anything wrong anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i literally wrote this in like 2 hours so yea. lol
> 
> please leave a comment and a kudos if u liked, i need validation!!!!
> 
> follow me on tumblr: @notalosechesterawinchester
> 
> have a great week <3,  
> Kay


	5. open your eyes (quietly)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look, i tried ok? (school started this week and tbh i dont know if im still a human being lmao)
> 
> projection is a major part of this lol so if u ever want to know what i do when i have no will to live, i write my characters being sad! hence this tragic chapter uwu
> 
> this took me way longer than i expected, i thought it would be ok but it wasnt so here we are gang gang yardy know
> 
> this is the part of the notes that is devoted to talking about how much good music is coming out lately, and holy shit i love it so much im going to cry (lets not even get into seoul town road bc namjoons english makes me want him to choke me haha) moving on,,,
> 
> shout out to all the ppl that have kudos or just read this so far, yall are the real mvps and i wish i could give you a prize for being awesome and cool but im literally broke so u can just settle for my online love uwu <3 
> 
> title from 7th Sense by NCT 127 (god, ten is just fghjkfghjhghj in that mv pls hlep)
> 
> thanks for reading so far, pls enjoy this hot trash  
> xx,  
> Kay
> 
> p.s. i never know if i should tag this, but be mindful of taes past relationship issues (imho they arent v graphic or anything but idk jack shit so ignore me) bc i dont ppl to @ me saying i didnt and now theyre traumatized, bc i dont need that in my life so yea k bye

The music was loud, almost achingly so.

Hoseok liked the music to be loud when he was working, it helped him think, focus on making something cohesive. He had agreed to do a solo dance for the final performance, to which his students had cheered.

He had been so caught up in the moment, between seeing Taehyung that morning, ethereal and glowing, and remembering the encouraging way he had smiled at him the other day when they sat in the park, Hoseok hadn’t thought about the process it took to make a whole dance. He had to pick a song, think of a message he wanted to convey, translate that into viable movement and then find a way to put it all together. In a little over a month and a half.

God, what was he thinking?

He looked down at the notes he had been jotting down. He had narrowed his choices down to four songs so far. He bit the end of his pen, feeling overwhelmed. If he picked the wrong song and got too far into it before he realized, it would set him back and he would have to start from scratch. Sometimes he wondered why he had chosen to get into dance.

The music stopped and his phone began to ring, making him jump. He got up from the floor to answer, smiling when he saw it was Taehyung. “Hello?” 

“Hi. Yukhei told me you had to go, and that you said to call you?” He sounded a little hesitant, and Hoseok made an affirming noise.

“Yeah. I felt bad for leaving in the middle of everything, but I had a class to teach. I just wanted to thank you for inviting me to go with you.” Taehyung made a surprised noise and Hoseok stifled his laughter. 

“Really? I thought it might be boring…” He sounded unsure, and Hoseok frowned a little.

“No! It was really cool and interesting, I liked the colors and the set, and I saw a few pictures. Byul-yi-noona is a really good photographer.” Taehyung agreed enthusiastically. 

“Right? I love her stuff. She’s always nice to work with, she works like I do, so it’s nice to have someone who understands the life.” Hoseok could picture the way Taehyung’s eyes were widening and glowing like the did when he got excited about something. He felt his chest tighten with affection.

“Did you- did you like the concept?” he asked tentatively, and Hoseok coughed a little. Did he like it? He would be having dreams about how beautiful Taehyung was in that shoot. The flower based concept was perfect for Taehyung, the different colors making his skin glow and his eyes a sharp shade of blue. The blue eyes had made him feel things he was sure were not at all friends only feelings.

“Yeah, it was cool. I liked the sunflowers the best.” Taehyung had been clothed in gold and white and he had transformed into an angel. Hoseok had kept the image tucked away for later when he was alone. “You and Jungwoo worked nicely together, have you done shoots together before?” he asked, settling on the floor, his back against the wall.

“Yeah. I’ve known him and Yukhei for a while now.” He laughed a little and Hoseok hummed. “I’ve known them since before they were a thing. I kind of helped them get together.” A pause. “They were so blind, they didn’t see how great they were together. Everyone else could see it, but Jungwoo said they were just friends, and Yukhei was scared to ask him out. It was ridiculous.”

Taehyung seemed to be breathless after the small rant, and the air between them was still. Hoseok felt his skin warm, a knot of regret and confusion building in his stomach. “Yeah, people can be blind sometimes. Maybe if they had someone to help them see reality, things would be different?” Hoseok heard Taehyung’s breath catch, and he felt stupid. He was supposed to be over him. _Just friends._

“Maybe. But sometimes people are blind for a reason. Sometimes its for everyone’s well-being that they choose to be blind.” Taehyung’s voice was low now, filled with emotion. He sounded upset, and Hoseok regretted saying anything. But he couldn’t help it. He nodded even though Taehyung couldn’t see. 

“Yeah. I understand that.” He took a breath and tried to keep his voice normal. “But maybe if they shared why they were blind, maybe the people that cared about them would help. I _know_ they would.” Taehyung said nothing for a long moment, and Hoseok thought he had hung up until he spoke.

“I have to go. Thanks for coming today. I’m glad you liked it.” Hoseok knocked his head back against the wall, feeling out of control. Things were spiralling and he had no idea how to pull up.

“Sure-” Taehyung hung up, cutting him off. The music started to play again, but Hoseok couldn’t think of anything else but him. 

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

His house was silent now, Hoseok’s voice gone when he pressed the ‘end call’ button.

Taehyung put his phone down on the counter where he had been leaning as he called Hoseok. He had been nervous, thinking he had left because he was bored, and feeling, not for the first time, that he had made a mistake inviting him to go watch. Now he felt like someone had slapped his face, leaving him stunned and stinging. He walked almost zombie like to the bathroom, his slippered feet heavy.

He tried to forget the image of Hoseok watching, his look of awe like Taehyung was someone special and talented, like he _mattered._ He felt wrong now, thinking about it. Hoseok’s words rang in his head, and he took a shallow breath. Didn’t he know? Couldn’t he tell that Taehyung was broken? Didn’t he care that Taehyung wasn’t the same anymore? That he felt something in his chest that hurt and made him unable to open up to anyone anymore?

Taehyung slammed around in the bathroom, opening his drawer with a bang, tossed the contents around in search for his makeup remover, wiping his face off so hard his skin stung, throwing the used wipe into the trash. Anger simmered in him, how dare he, how dare he, how _dare-_ **crunch.**

Pain shot up his hands, and he recoiled, a half scream escaping his mouth. He pulled his hands out of the drawer, curling in on himself, vision blurring. God, he was stupid. Stupid stupid _stupid._ He wasn’t sure if he had started crying before he had slammed his fingers in the drawer, but he let the tears fall, leaving wet tracks on his cheeks. He looked at himself in the mirror, hating what he saw. Pathetic, weak, useless. You lied to Hoseok, you lied to yourself. Sehun was right. _Damaged goods._ His voice echoed in Taehyung’s mind. His breath was coming in gasps, head spinning. He collapsed to the floor, clutching his throbbing hands, feeling like the world was falling on top of him.

He cried until there was nothing left.

///////////////////////

__

“Smile!” Sehun’s smile making Taehyung laugh as he took a picture. “Oh wow, you look great.”

__

Sehun’s smile turned a little dark as he pulled Taehyung closer. “Must be my hot photographer.”

__

Taehyung laughed and hit his shoulder. “Sehun!”

__

“What? Can’t I appreciate my boyfriend and his skills?” Taehyung smiled as he felt Sehun press a kiss to his jaw. “I'm starving, let's go.” Their hands fit perfectly together as they walked down the street. 

__

“I haven’t seen you in days, what’s up?” Sehun’s face was weirdly passive through the screen.

__

“Nothing much, I just have a lot of work.” Taehyung frowned, curled up on the couch. There was a sound and Taehyung watched as Sehun glanced at something from behind his phone.

__

“Sorry, I gotta go Tae. duty calls.” before Taehyung could say anything, Sehun blew him a kiss and hung up. Taehyung sat there, still and quiet as the conversation kept replaying in his head. 

__

“I don’t know why you’re getting upset.” Sehun seemed to be indifferent as he got a glass from the cupboard and filled it at the tap.

__

“Because Sehun, I never see you. Between my work and school, and your seemingly endless need to stay at work late, I can’t even sit down with you for a meal.” Sehun turned and took his hands. 

__

“I’m sorry work is being shitty, i just can’t let this deal escape. I know I can close it in a few days, but-” Taehyung sighed. He had really hoped that it would be more than a shoddy apology. Again. “Until then, you just have to trust me.” Taehyung looked up at him. He wasn’t sure how much more he could keep trusting him. 

__

“I met someone else.” Silence. “It’s just that you’re too high maintenance. I need someone who knows what they’re getting into you know?” More silence. “I can’t have someone who’s damaged goods on me, I don’t have time for that, and honestly, I’m tired of having to deal with your shit. You’re just way too needy.” Taehyung was crying, silently, because he couldn’t bare to give Sehun the pleasure of hearing him cry. Couldn’t bare to think of him, of his face that was probably all calm with that stupid fucking smirk on his face. How blind was he? Why hadn’t he noticed before? “I need you out of the house by next week. She’s moving in on Monday.” Taehyung felt something ugly grow in his stomach.

__

“Don’t worry, I’ll be as far as fucking possible by tonight.” he said into the phone, hanging up and throwing it onto the couch. He began to shake, half with sobs and half with anger. How did it all get to this? 

__

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

It had definitely been something he had said.

Hoseok twisted the edge of his pillow in his hands, glancing between the door and his phone which had remained silent since the Occurrence this afternoon. Maybe he should go over to see him. Surely he was back by now. But maybe he didn’t want to see him? Maybe he was mad, he would have texted by now if he wasn’t mad... _right?_

So Hoseok found himself standing outside Taehyung’s apartment door, in his socked feet. He had knocked and was turning away to go hide in his own apartment forever until the door opened, and someone who was not Taehyung stood in the doorway. “Uh,” Hoseok said smartly, staring at the extremely small, extremely pretty guy who looked at him up and down before asking, “Who are you?”

He seemed defensive, and Hoseok checked the number on the door. It was definitely Taehyung’s place. “Is Taehyung not here?” he said, feeling very embarrassed and warm suddenly, and the tiny pink-haired man looked at him with raised eyebrows.

“Are you Hoseok-ssi?” Hoseok’s answer was cut off by Taehyung coming up behind him.

“Hyung!” he looked flushed and flustered as he lightly pushed the small pink guy out of the way. “I got it hyung, thanks.” the small one frowned and looked between them before opening his mouth. “I think Jungkook needs help with something inside, why don’t you go help him?” His light push became more of a firm shove and the pink guy disappeared in the apartment with one last glance at Hoseok. He felt scrutinized and uncomfortable. Taehyung half sighed as he stepped out into the hall and pulled the door almost shut. “What’s up?”

Hoseok felt weird suddenly. He had made Tehyung upset and now he was here, standing with his arms crossed and leaning against the doorway like nothing had happened. “I, uh.” Hoseok looked at Taehyung who was wincing as he shifted his arms, tucking his hands under them. He looked at Hoseok with tired, faintly red eyes, like he had been crying for a long time. Concern began to grow in his chest as he took in his disheveled appearance. “Are you okay?” Hoseok asked, feeling his concern increase as Taehyung shifted his arms again, still wincing. he looked at his hands, the ends of white bandages sticking out from under his folded arms.

Taehyung sighed, “I'm fine.” Hoseok took his wrist gently, pulling it out from the crook of his elbow, seeing the bruised fingers and faint cuts along his knuckles.

“You don’t look fine to me, jesus christ what happened?” Taehyung looked at him blankly, and Hoseok could have sworn his eyes got teary. He blinked and the tears were gone, and he just managed a huffed laugh.

“You sound like Jiminnie-hyung. I was dumb and got my hands caught in a drawer.” he said, and Hoseok felt confused. Hands, in a drawer? 

“Are they broken?” He traced the edge of the bandages, wanting nothing more than to kiss them better. Taehyung twitched slightly and pulled his hand back.

“No, they’re fine. It’s just some bruising. I won’t be able to work for a while though.” he looked upset at that, cupping his hands together close to his chest, and Hoseok felt shamed at how he had been so self absorbed. “Why were you here again?” he sounded tired and Hoseok felt a little stupid. That seemed to be his life purpose nowadays.

“You didn’t say anything after we called, so I wanted to make sure you were okay…” his voice trailed off, and Taehyung looked a little surprised.

“Besides this,” he lifted his hands slightly, “I'm just fine, thanks.” he said shortly. Hoseok could feel his walls going up, closing him off.

“I'm sorry if what I said upset you. I didn’t want to hurt you. I should have just left it alone-”

“ Thanks for caring, but yeah, you should have.” Taehyung said, his voice thick now, and Hoseok saw his eyes get teary again. “You should just leave it,” he said again, voice low. “Because I'm not worth it.”

Hoseok stared at him, mind whirling. “Tae-” the door behind him opened and another unknown guy stood behind Taehyung, almost his height and imposing, except for his face. He was too cute to be scary, although it seemed like he was trying very hard to be. 

“Hey. Taehyungie-hyung, everything okay?” A protective hand came around his waist, and Hoseok felt his face burn again. Taehyung nodded and turned slightly. “I’ll be right there Jungkook, just tell Jimin and Namjoon to start without me,” He said, his voice more steady now, and Hoseok watched as Jungkook walked back into the apartment. “Sorry, we’re about to have dinner. I would invite you, but I don’t think Jimin brought enough for another person, and Jungkook eats like an animal,” a small laugh escaped Taehyung, and Hoseok forced a smile.

“Yeah, no problem. I have plans anyways.” Lies. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Let me know if you need help. for anything,” he said, trying to imply that he really meant _anything_ and Taehyung nodded.

“Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks Seok-hyung. See you later?” Hoseok nodded, feeling a tiny bit relieved at the way he smiled at him, and hoped he wasn’t lying when he said he was okay. 

He wouldn’t blame him if he was, either. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates on this are going to be way less and take way more time bc as i type this, i should be doing my hw for tomorrow but #procrastinatorslyfe  
> wbk im gonna fail all my classes this year lol
> 
> pls leave a kudos and a comment, they make my life worth living honestly, and thanks to those who have so far. u make me sad and happy at the same time :'^)
> 
> also follow me on tumblr if ur into that sort of thing, @notalosechesterawinchester
> 
> have a splendid week luvs x  
> Kay


	6. i don't take back what i've given away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy thanks giving u fools i hope yall have a lot to be grateful for uwu  
> i know i do <3
> 
> im thankful for my friends and fam, for you guys obvs, and for all the people who have helped me get here. im also thankful that this year is almost over, and that we can move on and heal from all the stuff thats happened in the last few months. keep going guys, it'll get better, i promise. <333
> 
> pls enjoy this small update, hopefully its what you've been waiting for. i have a pretty good outline of what im gonna do to finish the fic out, so it should be coming to a close soon. place ur bets as to if taehyung is gonna pull his head out of his ass lol 
> 
> enjoy!  
> <3,  
> Kay

Taehyung hated not working, but he hated being alone more. 

He hated being cooped up in his apartment with nothing to do. The moment Soonyoung had seen his hands (even when Taehyung tried to hide them under his coat) he had shooed him back home, threatening to call Jimin on him. Taehyung had given in just because Jimin was the only person he knew that could kill someone with Caring Too Much. So he went home and tried to do some chores. His hands were sore, and moving them hurt, but he managed to get through a load of laundry, wiping counters, and folding towels before the small cuts on his knuckles began to bleed a little again. He gave up and sat down to watch something on TV and do some set designs to try and be productive. He gave up trying to draw anything after he gave the model in his sketch a broken arm. He watched someone on the baking show make a cake that had little hearts on it, and he tried to imagine making that for someone. Who would even want that kind of thing? The things people did when they were in love, huh. He ignored the twinge in his hands as he clenched them.

Right. He knew all about that didn’t he?

The knock on the door made him jump and he stood up to answer. He opened the door to see Hoseok standing there, holding a dish and smiling brightly. Taehyung’s chest ached at the sight but he just smiled back, feeling relieved to be eased from the dangerous thoughts starting to bloom in his mind.

“Hey. I came to check up on you. I figured it would be easier to come in person instead of texting.” He motioned to his hands and Taehyung shook his head a little. 

“Oh yeah, it’s fine. They feel better already,” He laughed lightly and Hoseok lifted the dish.

“Seokjin-hyung made some extra jjajangmyeon.” In his head, he knew spending time alone with Hoseok probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do, given his current predicament, but Taehyung’s stomach growled at the thought of home cooked food. 

“Come on in.”

 

Hoseok helped him with the dishes after they ate, and Taehyung tried to watch more of the baking show as he sketched randomly. He wasn’t really trying to make anything at this point, just aimlessly doodling. When he looked up, Hoseok was watching the lady on TV make an eclair with wide and impressed eyes. 

“That’s so cool! I’ve never seen anyone make one of those before.” He looked so cute, his mouth an ‘o’ of surprise. Taehyung laughed, unable to help it.

“Have you had one?” Hoseok shook his head. 

“I was a very willful child. I never ate anything that wasn't chicken nuggets and kimbap.” Taehyung thought of a tiny, adorable Hoseok with a heart-shaped smile and big brown eyes and died a little inside. 

“They're so good though! The best are from that place down the street,” Taehyung said, putting his notebook down to think about eclairs. “I could eat like 50 in one sitting, they’re so good.” Hoseok looked at him with a determined glint in his eyes. 

“Let’s go then.” Taehyung blinked.

“What, right now?” Hoseok shrugged.

“Today’s my day off.” Taehyung smiled in spite of himself. 

“Okay. let’s go.” 

 

The little shop was about a block and a half away, so they walked. The weather was nice, the sun just bright enough to make the cold wind not seem so harsh, and Taehyung was actually kind of glad to be out of the apartment. He hated being cooped up. The shop was owned by a friend of Jungkook’s, and Taehyung had made it his job to get to know the guy with access to all the baked goods. The cute bell by the door chimed as they entered, the place decently full for a weekday afternoon. 

“Taehyung!” Mingyu waved at him from the counter, smile wide and his eyes bright.

“Hey, Mingyu-ah. How’s it going?” Mingyu shrugged and grinned. 

“It’s pretty great, actually. I finally beat Jungkook at that level on Mario Kart, it took me forever-” 

“‘Gyu, just take their order,” a short guy with jet-black hair came out of the kitchen with a tray of pretty black and white cookies, giving Mingyu an exasperated but fond look when he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Sorry Jihoon-hyung. What can I get you guys?” Taehyung ordered the eclairs and some coffee, and Hoseok shouldered his way to the front to pay. 

“You’re injured, I can't take things from a disabled person,” he said, and Taehyung sighed but let him. Free food was better anyways. They got their pastries and drinks and sat by the window. 

“The first bite is crucial. And the best. Take your time and savor it,” he said, watching Hoseok nod solemnly and take a bite of the chocolate one. His face was blank for a second, then it morphed into pure bliss as he chewed.

“Oh my god, that’s amazing.” Taehyung nodded, taking his own bite and sighing. He had missed them. Food was so good, and eclairs were the best thing ever. He hated when he couldn’t eat sugar for some lame diet Jimin roped him into, or to try and lose a little of his holiday weight. As far as he was concerned, weight had nothing to do with beauty. Granted, being healthy was always good, but the existence of eclairs made his life difficult. Hoseok looked like someone who had discovered the meaning of life, his eyes dreamy as he finished his bite and sat back in his chair.

“Wow. that felt like a religious experience.” Taehyung nodded solemnly.

“The feeling never goes away either.” Hoseok shook his head, looking distraught.

“I can’t believe I’ve lived here for so long and I haven’t found this place before.” Taehyung hummed around a sip of his coffee. 

“It’s kind of new. Also I know Mingyu through Jungkook.” Hoseok seemed to prickle a little at the mention of Jungkook’s name. 

“Was he the guy at your place last time?” Taehyung nodded, a tiny grimace on his face at the thought of the last time they had seen each other.

“Yeah he and Jimin had come over to help with dinner and check up on me,” he lifted his still bandaged hands. “They’ve been through a lot with me.”

He thought about how he had showed up at their apartment only 3 months ago, crying and holding all his things. Sehun had really meant it when he had told him to leave. It still hurt when he thought about it, like poking a bruise. 

“Yeah, I can tell.” Hoseok’s eyes were soft, and Taehyung felt his face flush. “You get this look when you talk about them,” Hoseok explained, taking a drink from his paper cup. “Like you can’t imagine being without them.”

There was a slight wistfulness to the way he said it, and Taehyung ignored the guilt that gnawed at his insides.

“I can’t. I would be a much bigger mess without them.” There was a pause as they both ate more eclair and Taehyung watched a couple of girls enter with giggly smiles. “How about you?” he asked, leaning in onto the table, looking at Hoseok.

“Seokjin and Yoongi have had each other way longer than I’ve had them,” Hoseok laughs a little, but he looked fond and his smile was gentle. “They’ve been dating since I met them in high school. They’re like the same person with split personalities honestly. They can be a little overbearing, but I love them anyways.”

“Friends are good,” he said, feeling like he was making excuses for something. Don't apologize, he reminded himself. You know you can’t give more of yourself into this. Yeah, right. Like he didn’t already have way too much invested in this. “They can be crazy though.” Hoseok laughed. 

“Yeah, they can. College was. Interesting.” His eyes widened comically and Taehyung laughed quietly. Hoseok went into an anecdote of his college experiences with Seokjin and Yoongi, and how he had been part of their weird shenanigans as part of their fraternity, and Taehyung sat and listened, taking in every bit of Hoseok he could. 

There was nothing wrong with just looking, just listening, right? He wasn’t touching, he wasn’t saying anything, he wasn’t thinking about how he wanted to hold Hoseok’s hand again, about how every fiber of his being wanted to be held again, held by him. It was ridiculous, to want something so intimate from someone he didn’t know very well, to long for something he had never really had. But he wanted to forget in his arms, ignore the world and live in a bubble. A bubble of Hoseok. 

 

Nothing but them and eclairs. 

 

~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~

Taehyung didn’t think he deserved this. He wasn’t an amazing person, but he didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Jungkook had already killed him 5 times, and the gross blood splatter that showed up when he killed him the 6th time made him throw his controller onto the couch and sigh. 

“How are you so good at this stupid game?” he asked, ignoring the way he got up and danced around in his face.

“It's a skill that takes years to hone, Taehyung-ah,” he said, his face solemn as his eyes sparkled mischievously. Taehyung threw a pillow at his face, getting up and seeking refuge in Jimin’s arms, who patted his head in sympathy. 

“It’s okay Tae, Jungkook is only good because he doesn’t have a real job.” Jungkook puffed up indignantly. 

“Excuse me-” Taehyung smiled as Jungkook went on his tangent of how a video game designer was an Actual Job, and how he was playing to test out the user interface and get a feel for the game, and Taehyung realized how much he had missed spending time with his friends. It had been nice to get away from the overflow of work he had to deal with after going back to work. All his appointments had been pushed back 2 whole weeks, so he had a lot of catching up to do. When he had decided to be a photographer/model, everyone who had encouraged him had declined to tell him about the mass of behind the scenes work he would have to do. Paperwork made him crazy, so Jimin had invited him over to hang out with him and Jungkook. 

“Isn’t Joon hyung supposed to come over too?” Taehyung asked, interrupting their heated argument. All the fight bled out of them and Jungkook plopped down on the couch next to them.

“Yeah, he was supposed to, but his boyfriend asked him out last minute. He said he’d show up later maybe.” Taehyung frowned.

“His boyfriend?” Jungkook looked scandalized and Jimin made a reproachful noise.

“Namjoonie got himself a boyfriend, right before you and what’s-his-name broke up.” Taehyung felt his cheeks flame at the way Jimin commented on Hoseok.

“We never dated,” he mumbled, picking at a loose thread in the couch cushion. “Either way, why didn’t he say so?” He felt hurt at the thought of Namjoon keeping something so major to himself, at least from Taehyung. They had always been close, and he thought that Namjoon had way more confidence in him than that. Now that he thought about it, he remembered how he had a date that one time they had seen Hoseok and Seokjin at the market...

“You were busy being a sad baby, and he felt like he would be raining on your pity parade by announcing he had a date with a hot guy,” Jungkook said, already pulling up a solo mission on the game, tapping the remote between his thighs.

“It wouldn’t have bothered me,” Taehyung protested, feeling small and ignored. Jimin stroked his head.

“Oh honey you were so sad, and besides, Namjoonie-hyung is too sweet to do that to anyone.” Taehyung pouted. Namjoon was going to have to spill the beans when he saw him next. They switched to Netflix after Jungkook finished slaughtering everyone, going between some cooking show Jimin liked and a racing show that Jungkook found interesting, Taehyung’s attention drifting like a cloud. He found himself checking his phone from time to time, his thumb going towards the messaging app. He had to steel himself and pull away. He and Hoseok had reached some kind of strange balance between talking about what happened and avoiding the subject altogether. Sometimes Hoseok would say things that made Taehyung’s heart want to escape his chest, and he would feel like he was doing it on purpose. But he always kept his distance, respecting Taehyung’s boundaries, even when a small part of him wished he would shatter them in a tiny million pieces and just do whatever he wanted. But Taehyung ignored it.

Namjoon showed up just as Jungkook was breaking out the ice cream, and Taehyung sat on the couch watching tiktoks of cats. 

“Hey! I thought you went out?” Taehyung said, looking up to smile at Namjoon. 

“Oh, yeah. I went out,” he looked awkward for a second, and Taehyung huffed.

“Jungkook and Jimin told me about your boyfriend,” he said expectantly. Namjoon turned the color of Jungkook’s spiderman hoodie and Taehyung had to laugh. 

“I don’t have-” Jimin came in from the kitchen, holding two bowls of ice cream and handing one to Taehyung. 

“Don’t worry, we told him. He knows.” Namjoon floundered for a moment, cute and flustered. 

“Hey Joon-hyung, you want some ice cream?” Jungkook appeared, face already smeared with chocolate and vanilla, and Taehyung laughed into his bowl. 

“Sure, Kook.” Namjoon darted away, Taehyung following him with his eyes. Maybe he could help him out, he was a nice, responsible person right? Taehyung could use that now.

“Hey, Joon.” Namjoon looked up from the carton he was digging into as Taehyung entered the kitchen. 

“Yeah?” he looked wary. Taehyung bit his lip before speaking. 

“What would you do to say sorry for ignoring and or acting weird around someone?” Namjoon raised an eyebrow. “It’s for scientific purposes,” Taehyung added, feeling warm around the ears. 

“I would probably tell them the reason why I was being a dumbass,” Namjoon reasoned, licking ice cream off his spoon. Taehyung felt his face heat slightly. Nothing seemed to escape Namjoon. 

“That or maybe get them food or something. It depends on who it is.” Taehyung nodded. Hoseok deserved to have an apology, so he would give him something that was nice and told him he was sorry for making things the way they were.

“Okay, thanks.” 

Hopefully it would work.

God, he hoped it would.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hoseok was doing his laundry when he heard his doorbell ring. He padded to the door and peeked through the peephole. It was Taehyung, his face a little anxious. He opened the door, feeling worried. 

“You good?” he asked, and Taehyung looked at him. 

“I’m good,” he said, shifting back and forth. The silence stretched on for a painfully long time before he spoke again.

“So I’ll see you-” 

“Do you want to go to a party with me?” Taehyung looked a little startled at the words that had escaped him, and Hoseok blinked at him.

“Um.” Taehyung looked like he was starting to regret everything he had ever done, and Hoseok felt something odd start to churn in his stomach.

“It’s this weekend. It’s for Hyungwon hyung’s birthday, and the invite said I could bring a plus one, and I thought that maybe this could make up for kind of ruining things between us, and also you like Hyungwon, he’s cool he’s also like super rich, but he’s got a boyfriend, Wonho hyung, he’s cool too, kind of scary though-” Hoseok waved his hand around in front of him, stifling his laughter. 

“Tae!” Taehyung stopped rambling and blinked at him. “I’ll go.” 

“Really?” he said, a smile growing on his pretty face. 

“Yeah, why not. I don’t have anything planned for this weekend anyways,” Hoseok said, feeling his face flush at how happy Taehyung looked. 

“Great! I can send you the details, it’s kind of fancy so you'll have to dress up. I’ll pick you up at like, 7?” Hoseok nodded.

“Sounds good.” Taehyung beamed at him and suddenly grabbed him for a hug.

“Thanks,” he said, voice soft and warm against his ear as he held him close. something burned all over him as he hugged Taehyung back, feeling forbidden but like it was meant to be. Taehyung’s phone buzzed and he pulled away to check it, eyes widening when he saw who it was. 

“I have to go now, but we can talk more later,” he gave him one last smile. Hoseok missed how he felt in his arms. “Bye hyung. Thanks again.” Hoseok waved and closed the door. He felt like a kid who had just been asked out to prom, his heart pounding and a rush of giddiness making his head spin. Right. He had to get some back up. He picked up his phone, searching his contacts.

“Hyung, I need some help…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading, yall really make my day uwu  
> Kay


	7. i'm bad at love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY 2020 YALL i hope u had a great new years eve and that this year is everything u hope it will be. sending lots of love and encouragement to everyone !!!! <333
> 
> things are getting tough now for our lads it seems,, rip taehyung :(  
> this chapter is kind of short-ish and i am sorry but i will hopefully have the next one up real soon im almost done with it i promise !!
> 
> writing is hard but i had a revelation in the shower the other night so if everything goes to plan i should be finishing this story off in no more than 4 more chapters. of course i might choose to extend their pain if i feel so inclined but that shouldnt happen lol 
> 
> im never sure if i should change tags or rating for what taehyung is going through relationship wise (like with sehun and stuff), so if u feel like it should be tagged pls let me know and ill make changes, i dont want to cause anyone distress or issues bc im too dumb to see if something should be tagged. stay safe!!!
> 
> n e ways now onto the chapter !  
> Kay

So maybe this was a mistake. 

Maybe Hoseok had said yes too quickly. He had that problem, he liked to jump into things without thinking much, something that his friends liked to nag him about. He was an eager person, naturally wanting to please, and Taehyung. Taehyung had a power over him like no one else, which was stupid and dumb and not normal. Did he say stupid already? 

He had tried to move on. And he had, he thought. He had been thinking about Taehyung in nothing but platonic, friendly ways recently, he swore to god. But Taehyung had asked him out to a party. A party for one of his favorite artists, as his _plus one._ That had to mean _something_ , right? Granted, it was more of a pity invite now that he thought about it...

“It’s not a pity invite,” Seokjin said from the depths of his closet (ha ha) as he dug around, Hoseok and Yoongi sitting on their bed, Hoseok spread eagled in despair as Yoongi fiddled on his phone, cross legged. 

“It’s a fucking pity invite,” he moaned into his balled up hands as he brought them up to hide his redenning face. “God I’m so dumb.” Yoongi made a small noise of agreement and said “It’s a pity invite.” 

Seokjin made a squawking noise and emerged with a shirt in his hands, looking sharply at Yoongi. “It’s NOT. A pity invite.” Yoongi shrugged and kept scrolling.

“It kinda sounded like a pity invite.” Hoseok nodded, lifting his head. 

“Hyung, it was definitely a pity invite.” He got a mouthful of cotton as Seokjin tossed the shirt into his face.

“It's not a pity invite!” Seokjin looked at them both with a glare and Hoseok sat up properly, letting the shirt fall into his lap. 

“He said it was to make up for messing stuff up,” he said, twisting the sleeves together as he looked down. “He felt bad. Inviting someone to something because you feel bad about something is a pity invite.” Yoongi hummed again and Seokjin looked livid. 

“Jung Hoseok, I swear to god. You are going to this party regardless of it being a pity invite or not. You already said yes, and I didn’t spend an hour looking for things to match that stupid bird jacket you have just to have it wasted.” Hoseok shut his mouth then, and instead looked at Yoongi who just gave him an 'are you even surprised' glance. He gave up trying to convince Seokjin that this was a dumb thing to be doing and just let himself be, he sat on their bed as Seokjin pulled out a variation of shirts and shoes and resorted to nodding or shaking his head and pointing. In the end they had a solid outfit, the aforementioned bird jacket and black slacks with a white button up and some shiny gold shoes that Hoseok was blinded by but loved. It was a shame that he was spending such a nice outfit on an invitation that was seemingly not what it seemed. 

After finding the outfit, Hoseok stayed for dinner, feeling sulky as he ate his tacos messily. He went home after dinner, feeling like he was a gray cloud drifting around as he got home, still brooding as he put the key into the door. When he got in, he shed all his things and took his outfit to his room, laying it out and eyeing it. He needed a second opinion. 

The small, reasonable part of his brain said that he didn’t, Seokjin was more fashionable than he was, and there was no way that anyone else could style a bird jacket like he could. Hoseok pulled his phone out anyways.

After sending a message or two, Hoseok waited by the door, turning the TV on to have something to do. The knock on the door sent him scattering, he knocked the remote over and then nearly fell on his face before he caught himself and composed himself. Right. Fashion advice.

“Hey,” he said as he opened the door, and his chest ached. 

“Hi.” Taehyung must have come from work, his skin was glowing and his face made up perfectly, hair styled in the loose, messy style that Hoseok liked to think about when the Responsible part of his brain wasn’t paying attention. 

“Hey,” he said again, feeling a little dumb as he smiled at him.

“So,” Taehyung said, looking a little confused but amused all the same. “You wanted me to look at your outfit?” 

Hoseok blinked. Yeah, duh.

“Yeah, come in.” He escorted him to his room where it was, waving a dramatic hand to show him the clothes Seokjin has picked out.

“Oh wow.” Taehyung’s eyes so wide Hoseok could see the outline of the contacts he was wearing along the outside of his golden irises. He looked like a weird, inhuman creature with colored contacts. In a nice way obviously. Taehyung couldn’t look anything but nice. “Did you pick this out?” Taehyung asked, fingering a sleeve with a delicacy that Hoseok envied. He envied the shirt. Jesus christ, he needed help. 

“Uh sort of. Seokjin helped me, he knows more about colors and patterns and stuff than me.” Taehyung hummed and Hoseok suddenly felt nervous. Was it bad? Maybe he should have picked a different color shirt. Maybe it was the birds. Hoseok loved the birds but maybe they were too loud? Was that even a thing? Fuck. Taehyung’s eyes were bright when he looked at him.

“This is a great outfit. I love it,” he smiled, and Hoseok felt his body ease. He had been locked up since Taehyung had entered the apartment. 

“Oh, thanks. I didn’t know if it was too...flashy or something, I dunno.” he said, feeling lame. Taehyung laughed and Hoseok felt high. 

“No, I love the birds. They make a statement.” Hoseok heard himself laugh, feeling like he had astral projected out of his body and was watching this whole exchange from the darkness of space. 

“‘I love fowl and parties, please talk to me,’” he said, smiling a little.

“Yeah! I mean who says no to birds?” Taehyung said, his smile cute and boxy and fuck, Hoseok had to make him leave or he would do something stupid like try to kiss him again or ask for his hand in marriage. How had he thought he was over him? How had he thought that spending so much time avoiding him would result in any kind of good situation when he finally did spend time alone with him? The margin of stupidity was growing with each moment that he was in the same area as him. Had he mentioned this was dumb? 

“So, uh. What are you wearing?” he asked, leading Taehyung back to the living room, trying to keep his thoughts from becoming verbally expressed. 

“It’s a surprise.” Taehyung’s face grew mischievous and Hoseok about had a heart attack. 

“O-oh?” Why did he stutter? Was he fucking dumb? Oh wait, yeah he was. 

“Yeah, I've been working on it for a while, it’s my design final actually,” Taehyung looked sheepish and Hoseok was suddenly excited. 

“That’s cool. Can’t wait to see it then.” Taehyung smiled. 

“Thanks.” Now’s the time, Hoseok surprised himself with the thought. Now is the chance to ask what this whole party thing was about and get it cleared out.

“I actually was wondering,” Taehyung’s eyebrows lifted slightly as he turned to look at him. “Why you invited me to the party in the first place.” The look of embarrassment and slight guilt on Taehyung’s face made Hoseok feel like worse. 

“Oh. Well,” There was a pregnant silence and Hoseok found himself holding his breath before he forced himself to breathe. “I felt bad about treating you like shit,” he rubbed the back of his neck and Hoseok nodded slowly. “A lot of old things came up after our...phone call.” Hoseok still felt awful about that. He had clearly touched a nerve and he had caused some of whatever Taehyung was going through. “But I'm okay, I just had to figure some stuff out.” His smile was gentle and reassuring and Hoseok found himself smiling back. “Plus, I know you like Hyungwon hyung, and i owed you from that one time I bailed on our meeting. I'm not about to drag Namjoon along because he actually hates this kind of thing,” Taehyung rolled his eyes and Hoseok laughed. So they were good. They were okay. Maybe. 

“Well thanks for inviting me. I’ve never really been to anything this fancy…” Hoseok realized how bad he must look, a grown man who hasn’t been to any kind of formal event besides a wedding. 

“Oh, Hyungwon throws the best parties. He’s a total control freak so they’re planned to the last detail. He loves it. And anyways, I’ll be there too to keep you company,” His eyes were bright. Hoseok nodded, feeling a little more at ease. 

“Right. Thanks.” They said their goodbyes, and Hoseok sank onto the couch again. So maybe it wasn’t what Hoseok wanted it to be. But maybe it was a chance. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung forgot how much he liked to get dressed up for this kind of thing. 

It had been a while since he had gone to a party like this, one that had months of planning behind it. He had helped pick out tablecloths for it actually, fascinated by the almost obsessive precision Hyungwon had for this sort of thing. A birthday party had never been more seamlessly integrated into a charity ball, something that Wonho’s company had every year was just like him, both elegance and fun in one. This year though, would hopefully be more enjoyable than the other times.

Sehun had only liked fancy parties to show Taehyung off, but now he was going with someone who he actually enjoyed spending time with. The only problem was that Hoseok looked so much more attractive than Taehyung had bargained for. There was no way he was the same person. 

He was good looking before, but now, well. He looked like a prince. His hair was parted and swept back, exposing his forehead (changing everything), and his pretty, dark eyes were lined thinly with black and silver that matched the blue of his bird jacket. Taehyung hadn’t been lying when he said he liked Hoseok’s outfit. Seokjin had done a good job, Taehyung should send him a thank you card. 

“Wow,” he said intelligently when he opened the door to see him standing there. A nervous smile flitted across his face and Taehyung felt a flush of affection. 

“Shut up,” he said, his tone light and without malice. Taehyung laughed. 

“You look great,” he said earnestly, smiling. 

“You look amazing too.” Hoseok’s eyes were wide as he looked at him up and down. Taehyung felt his own face turn pink as he shrugged. 

“Thanks. It took me forever to get these lapels right, but I got there in the end.” Hoseok shook his head in disbelief. 

“I can’t believe you made that yourself. It’s so good.” Taehyung smiled shyly.

“Thanks.” he had been working on the suit for about a year now, waiting for a good chance to wear it before having to present it in his fashion design class. It was a silver and black jacket with intricate china-like patterns and black slacks. He wore a lacy collared shirt under it and a bow tie with the same pattern as the jacket. 

“Are we ready?” Hoseok asked, offering his arm. Taehyung looked at him, thinking about keeping his distance, his logical brain trying to speak up but he shut it down quickly. This wasn’t about him, it was about Hoseok and making up. It was about having fun with a friend. Friend. That was all. He made sure his apartment was locked up and that he had everything before turning to take his arm. 

“Let’s go.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hoseok started to feel like maybe the bird jacket was a bad choice. Sure he looked good, but the building they were in was in the part of town that Hoseok felt he was always underdressed for. Maybe a flashy jacket wasn’t the best idea for a classy gathering. The tower of glass and metal they had arrived to was huge, and Taehyung had pressed one of the higher up buttons in the elevator. So far he hadn’t done anything though, he had kept his hands to himself, something he had doubted he could do when he saw how good Taehyung looked.

“Don’t worry hyung,” Taehyung said as Hoseok fidgeted with his collar yet again. “You look great.” His eyes were bright and honest and Hoseok felt himself melting under his gaze. 

“Thanks. I guess this place makes he feel a little-” 

“On edge?” Taehyung laughed. “Yeah me too. My friends always hassle me about living somewhere like this, but,” he shrugged, looking up at the sharp lights and then looking sideways at Hoseok. “It makes me feel like I've never left work.” Hoseok could see how he felt, he felt like someone was watching him at all times, like he was under a magnifying glass, both because of the obvious class that people that lived here must have, but also because of all the cold edges and gleaming glass. He much preferred the more run down yet pleasant hominess of their building. 

They finally arrived to the floor and the doors slid open with no noise and Hoseok felt like he was in space. The corridor was dimly lit, the last door at the end of the hall clearly where they were meant to be, fairy lights decorating the area around it. While they were still a few paces away from the door, it swung open, and a tall, thin man with a glass in his hand came out, lights and music spilling out into the hallway.

“Taehyungie!” Hoseok kept himself from staring at the tall man by watching Taehyung hug him in greeting and offer his little gift. He had brought a cutely wrapped box that Taehyung had explained was a book on antique fashion design that he had gotten him from Italy. Apparently besides music, Hyungwon found older designs fascinating, seen in his more traditional hanbok-style suit with expensive looking silk. 

“Hi Hyungwon-hyung, happy birthday!” Hyungwon flashed him a look and shook his head. 

“You shouldn’t have, honestly Tae. Just a donation would have been enough.” Taehyung was shaking his head. 

“I’ll do both then. I got this for you.” Hyungwon smiled and patted his cheek with his empty hand. 

“Ah, who’s this?” he finally saw Hoseok and a sudden feeling of shyness overcame him. 

“Oh this is my friend Hoseok. We’re actually neighbors,” Taehyung said as they shook hands. 

“Mm, well any friend of Taehyung’s is a friend of mine,” a gentle smile crossed his face and Hoseok felt elated to have someone so cool and nice like him. He was much more grounded than he thought he would be. 

“Hyungie?” A smaller but way more muscular man came out of the apartment, his suit impeccable but straining around his arms and chest. 

“Oh hi honey. I was just saying hello to Taehyung and his friend,” Hyungwon said as he sipped his drink daintily, an arm coming to rest around the other’s shoulders as he swirled the liquid around. 

“Hey Wonho.” Taehyung shook hands with him, and Hoseok introduced himself as well, his hand crushed under his firm grip. 

“Ah, dear, the Son twins are asking for you.” Hyungwon pouted, his airy facade fading into one of an insolent child being asked to clear a mess. “I told them I didn’t want to talk business tonight,” Wonho laughed a little, a gentle hand coming up to stroke his chin. 

“I can tell them no if you want,” Hyungwon perked up. 

“No, of course not! But could you put this up in our room, it’s special.” He handed his present off to Wonho and smiled and winked at Taehyung. “I’ll see you both around, have a good time!” He and Wonho walked back into the apartment, and Taehyung turned to look at Hoseok. 

“Ready?” he asked, searching his face for any kind of hesitance. 

“If all your friends are that nice, I’m good.” Taehyung laughed. 

“If only.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything was okay. 

Hoseok was a natural, he worked the crowd, talking and flirting and being himself which Taehyung was thankful for. He needed something to keep him grounded amongst all the chatter. He stayed with him, always an arms length away, always listening for his name and ready to move on to the next batch of super rich socialites that Taehyung forgot he hated. Most of his friends from work were there though, Yukhei and Jungwoo made an appearance and spending some time with them, their brightness making Taehyung feel a little more comfortable. 

Hoseok got along great with everyone, his smile warm and open and it was easy to lose himself in the feeling of having him at his side. Taehyung was getting spoiled. He worked his way around the large room, moving further away from Hoseok but keeping him in eye sight. He spent some time talking with a few friends about some possible collaborations, made a few new friends as he met significant others and partners and fiances. He found Jimin and Jungkook in the back part of the party, drinking and talking to a lithe and fiercely beautiful woman with an equally good looking guy. 

“Oh Taehyung! Look who I found!” Taehyung said hello to Hyuna and her boyfriend, exchanging niceties before explaining that he was looking for a drink. Jungkook left and came back with a glass of something and he thanked him. It was something fruity and not at all strong. He had Jungkook point him in the way of the bar, and he made his way there. 

He took a moment to take a breath, sipping from his glass and watching the people mill about. There was a lot of people, Hyungwon had outdone himself. The place looked great and was filled to the brim. No one who was anyone would miss this. He tried to spot Hoseok but he was too far back to see him. Maybe he should get Hoseok a drink. What did he like again? He turned to ask the bartender if they had wine, but the hand on his shoulder made him freeze. The voice in his ear made his blood still in his veins, and his head spin. 

“Hello Taehyung. How nice to see you here.” 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Hoseok found out that not all of Taehyung’s friends were all that down to earth. Most were, but some were so high end he couldn’t even approach them. But for the most part, he found out that these famous people he knew from magazine ads and commercials were all humans with lives and interests and pet peeves like anyone else. 

Taehyung had stayed close so far, easing introductions and adding to the conversation lightly when needed, but he looked a little tense and uncomfortable when some people spoke to him in interested tones about someone in particular. It had always been when he wasn’t in the conversation so the name escaped him, but it seemed that most of this crowd were expecting for him to show up with someone else. Hoseok fought back the feelings of confusion and jealousy that rose in him and kept talking. Hopefully he would find out when Taehyung was ready. 

Things were going well, all the conversations were interesting and cool and he hadn’t really made a fool of himself yet which was good. Taehyung had disappeared, drifting off to the back of the room as Hoseok talked to a tall dance-wear model who had biceps bigger than his face. Honestly, were all of Taehyung’s friends this ideally attractive? Even when he wasn’t really trying to get anywhere with anyone, he got a few phone numbers and promising looks, the Prada perfume girl Irene was especially eager. He had accepted them but didn’t make solid agreements. The thought of Taehyung kept him from saying yes right away to any of them.

As the night wore on, he realized it had kind of been a while since he had seen Taehyung. He glanced around but couldn’t find the familiar head of gray hair, and he couldn’t see anyone he knew even vaguely. Great, he lost his date. Or whatever he was. Hoseok tried not to dwell on what he was or wasn’t as he moved through the people talking. He looked around and found the tiny pink haired guy with his boyfriend from that night at Taehyung’s place, Jimin and Jungkook, talking to a small group of people. He tried to be polite as he interrupted. 

“Uh, sorry, but have you seen Taehyung?” They all looked at him, the pink one with unhidden distaste and appraisal, the others with mild interest. 

“Hoseok-ssi, right?” Jimin asked, sipping lightly from his martini glass. Hoseok felt flustered but also indignant. This guy didn’t even know him, why was he being so snippy?

“Yeah, that’s me.” Jungkook looked like he was about to extend his arm in greeting but Jimin grabbed his shoulder. He said something quietly to Jungkook who frowned and looked confused for a moment before lowering his arm and offering a slightly sympathetic grimace to Hoseok.

“Why are you here?” Jimin’s eyes were sharp even while his face was flushed and tinged pink. “Do you even know Hyungwon or Wonho?” Hoseok eyed the glass he was holding. 

“How many of those have you had, exactly?” Jimin turned even redder and opened his mouth to respond as those in the group tittered lightly. “Taehyung invited me. Do you know where he is or not?” Jimin’s mouth snapped shut and he said nothing. God, what was with this guy? 

“I think he’s by the bar,” came a voice from the group, a woman with purple hair and a low voice. She pointed in said direction and offered a smile. Hoseok bowed slightly. 

“Thank you,” he strode off to where she was pointing, looking around. He scanned the people at the bar and felt a rush of relief at the sight of Taehyung, but something was wrong. Hoseok felt a slight chill as he looked at Taehyung with the man he was speaking to.

Something was very wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaah ik im sorry if this is too dramatic for u but i had to cut myself off and i was like why not make it exciting and leave a cliffhanger? 
> 
> pls leave comments and kudos, they make me super happy and i always try to respond as quickly as i humanly can with a shitty notification system 
> 
> come make friends with me on tumblr: @notalosechesterawinchester
> 
> have a good weekend ! <3  
> Kay


	8. your heart's a trick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i hope you are all well and staying healthy! ik it seems like a scary time rn but honestly, as long as you listen to the doctors and official advice, u should be alright. i hope we can get through this together and quickly! i send love to all of u <3
> 
> this is the one of the last chapters of this fic, bc i think its been dragging and ik yall want to see some kind of action lol hopefully this chapter is what you guys want, sorry for the shortness of it, i'm trying to get as much in as possible to get the ending i want :P
> 
> NOTICE:  
> there is the use of the word "slut" in a harmful way, and there might be some (potentially) triggering stuff for some of us when sehun and taehyung are interacting, so if that bothers u, please be careful and aware. stay safe yall (this might be a dumb warning but id rather b safe than sorry!!!)
> 
> enjoy,  
> Kay <3

Taehyung had never really thought about how deer felt about being in the headlights of a coming 18-wheeler until now.

As he stood still, his hand still poised in mid-air to drink, he stared into the bright lights of the honking, screeching metal demon that was going to make him regret ever stepping foot out of his comfortable home in the woods.

“It’s been a long time,” Sehun continued, like he hadn’t just fucked up Taehyung’s life by existing on the same plane as him. Right. “How’ve you been?” His signature smirk was in place, his eyes roving Taehyung’s body up and down like he was a particularly nice selection of produce at the store, making Taehyung feel sick inside, like he had drunk too much (which he might have at this point).

“I’m-” he said, his voice crackling like firewood at the end of his sentence. He put his cup down and cleared his throat. “I’m fine,” he said, trying to sound firm but sounding like he had swallowed shards of glass.

“You still look good.” Sehun’s smirk reached his voice, dripping off it like oil. Taehyung felt his stomach flip and he leaned back against the bar.

“What are you. What are you doing here?” he said, his voice still uneven. He sounded pathetically defensive even to his own ears. Sehun shrugged and tucked his hands into the pockets of his slacks. He still dressed like he owned a small country in the middle of the ocean. Taehyung’s head spun. He was still the same. 

“Wonho-ssi invited me,” he said, crossing over to Taehyung’s side on the bar, waving for a drink. “My father works with him and got an invitation. He had a late meeting today so he gave it to me instead.” 

Taehyung didn’t know why he was still here. Every part of him wanted him to leave, flee, run for his life. But like the deer who crossed the road, he was stuck to the ground. He couldn’t quite breathe. Sehun got his drink and took a long sip. 

“You here with anyone?” he said, making Taehyung’s skin prickle. Sehun had always been so charismatic, always had a smile ready for anyone who might give him a benefit. Every part of him was screaming that this wouldn’t end well.

“No, I-” something about Sehun’s eyebrow raise made him change his mind. “Actually, yes. He’s talking to-” Sehun’s laugh cut him off. 

“You found someone? Wow. I didn’t think you would beat me to it. I guess things change, don't they?” He took another sip, and Taehyung stared at him. Did he think this was a game? Did he think that Taehyung would just forget about everything that he had done to him? About the pain he still felt everyday? A part of what Sehun said registered. 

“Are you alone?” he asked, and Sehun looked at him over the edge of his glass. He slowly smiled again, putting his drink down and looking at Taehyung with a look he knew all too well. No, he hadn’t meant it that way- 

“Maybe. Why do you ask?” he said, his voice dropping low in a way that once made Taehyung feel flushed that now made him feel like he was going to hurl over his shiny shoes. He pictured how pissed off Jimin would be if he threw up on his shoes, they weren’t even his. He gave a small hysterical giggle as he thought about it, shaking his head. 

“How the mighty have fallen. Lose your game?” he asked, sudden venom dripping from his voice that Sehun seemed to preen under. That was an insult you prick, Taehyung thought, feeling annoyance trickle in under all the emotions he was feeling. Sehun leaned his elbow onto the bartop and looked at Taehyung evenly. The music was matching to Taehyung’s heart now, pounding loud and frantically. Careful, he thought, trying to put some distance between them. 

“Not really. If your boyfriend is boring you…” Taehyung swallowed hard. God no. Sehun brought up a hand to cup the side of his face. Taehyung felt himself go rigid, his body frozen by the now foreign touch. “We could relive some of the good times,” Sehun tilted his head to the side, his mouth slightly open as his eyes darted up and down his face. Taehyung yanked himself away and shook himself.

“How the fuck _could_ you?” he said, feeling repulsion and anger simmer on his skin. “You piece of shit, after all you fucking did to me,” Taehyung felt his chest tighten. “You come back acting like I mattered, like you didn’t throw me aside like trash. Don’t fucking touch me!” Sehun’s face was very still for a moment, and then he straightened up. 

“You didn’t seem to care about me being nice when I was fucking you, slut,” he spat, face tightening up like a fist. “All you seemed to care about was that I made you feel good. You would whine and whine about how you wanted to be more than just my boyfriend, how I should have been more committed. You act all high and mighty, like you’re anything more than a whore in expensive clothes.” Taehyung recoiled like he had been slapped. “Maybe I should remind you why you stayed for so long if you fucking hate me,” Sehun’s smile was back, this time laced with something that made Taehyung’s blood freeze. He started moving closer, and Taehyung moved back, shaking his head. 

“No, don’t-” Sehun reached out for him, but then suddenly someone crashed into him.

They both rolled to the floor, knocking into people and making some squeal. They separated and Taehyung saw Hoseok on top of Sehun, his knees on either side of his ribs as he pulled his arm back. Someone was screaming in the background, and Taehyung dimly recognized that it was him. Hoseok’s fist came down on Sehun, both of them yelling, people began to shout, and the music was drowned out. Jungkook appeared out of nowhere to rip Hoseok off Sehun, leaving him on the floor with a red mark on his eye and a bloody lip. Hoseok fought, thrashing in Jungkook’s arms as he cursed at Sehun.

“You fucking asshole! Don’t you fucking touch him!” Taehyung watched as Hyungwon and Wonho showed up, the former looking livid and the latter looking like he had done this enough to be objective and stoic. He hadn’t realized that he had slumped to the floor until Jimin’s arm wrapped around him and he whispered something soothing. Taehyung still couldn’t really focus on anything. His head was spinning and he couldn’t breathe.

“Taehyung?” He heard Jimin say dimly before he swayed and everything went black. 

 

When Taehyung woke up, he was laying on his couch, Jimin’s concerned face inches from his. He blinked blearily, feeling his head throb. God, what happened?

“Oh thank god, Tae! Are you okay? Can you hear me?” Jimin’s voice felt like a bat to his head and he winced.

"Why are you yelling?” he said, his voice crackling. His throat was so dry it hurt to speak. “Can I get some water please?” he said, trying to sit up. Jimin waved at Jungkook who was watching from the kitchen, and he helped him up slowly. 

“Take it slow Tae, you bumped your head on the floor when you passed out,” Jimin said, his hand gentle on his head as he put pillows behind his back. When he passed out? The events of the night came rushing back to his mind and he felt his stomach drop. 

“Hoseok? Where is he? Is he okay? Did he get in trouble?” he remembered how angry Sehun had been after getting beat up. No way he let Hoseok walk away without some kind of come back. His breathing picked up and his head stung. Fuck. Jungkook appeared with a glass of water, handing it to him as he grinned. 

“Hoseok got that bastard good, he was bleeding everywhere. Hyungwon-hyung got mad when he stained the floor,” he laughed and Jimin looked up at him with a glare. “Uh, sorry. Hoseok is fine, I think he went to get looked at for his hand. He hit Sehun pretty fucking hard.” Taehyung took a long gulp of water and nodded. So he was alright. Good.

”That guy's a stupid dickhead. I can’t believe he would do that to you,” Jimin said, looking furious. 

“He was trying to help,” Taehyung said, feeling oddly defensive. Hoseok couldn’t have meant to cause any damage. Plus it wasn’t his fault Taehyung had no stamina when it came to physical conflict. “I can't believe I passed out,” he muttered, feeling embarrassed and weak. 

“Hey, it’s fine. You were stressed out and there was a lot going on. Sehun’s a creep, it’s a reasonable response.” Taehyung looked at the frayed ends of his throw pillow. “Do you need anything?” Jimin said, brushing some of his hair back and looking at him with concerned eyes. Taehyung shook his head.

“I’m fine. You guys can go home.” Jimin frowned. 

“Someone should stay with you to make sure your head is okay,” he said, standing up to get his phone. “Maybe we should take you to the hospital-” Taehyung raised his hands in protest. 

“I’m fine Jimin, i swear. I’ll wake up every thirty minutes if I have to, just go home. You’ve already done a lot for me.” he smiled at his friends and Jimin hesitated. 

“Jimin, he wants to be alone for a bit. We can come by tomorrow morning and get breakfast together,” Jungkook said softly, touching his boyfriend’s arm. Jimin’s frown deepened before easing slightly.

“Fine. but if anything happens,” he glared at him. “I really mean anything Tae. if anything happens, please call me and we can come over right away, okay? Or call Namjoon, he can come too.” Taehyung nodded, taking another drink of his water. 

“I promise hyung.” he stood up to let them out, and tried not to wince too much to avoid Jimin insisting he would stay, hugging them goodbye and closing the door after them. He sighed and leaned against it. He was tired, his head was not too bad anymore but still throbbing, and he wanted to curl up on his bed and hibernate until this all became one long bad dream. 

He couldn’t believe that Sehun had showed up. He never would have thought that his luck could get that bad. He closed his eyes and the image of the way his face looked as he called him names made them fly open again. He took a deep breath and thought about how Hoseok had looked as Jungkook pulled him away. He had been there, watching over him, ready to save him. Maybe he did care. Maybe Taehyung had thought wrong, and Hoseok did want to help. Maybe he wouldn’t have to be alone anymore. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hoseok was trying not to think about it, but all his mind would return to was the throbbing pain in his knuckles. 

He sighed and tried to pick up his glass of water, his fingers stinging as the movement pulled on his tape. The doctor had said he would just have some light bruising and cuts, and that he would be fine as long as he didn’t go punching anyone else anytime soon. Hoseok was sure that wouldn’t happen anymore. 

He couldn’t even really remember how it had happened, he had just seen the man leaning over Taehyung like he was trying to scare him, and he could see it was working. He could see the terror in Taehyung’s face when he reached for him, and Hoseok had just reacted. It had been pure instinct. He grimaced as he thought about his hands hitting the guy’s face. He wasn’t sure he liked this part of him. But he knew he would never apologize. Seeing Taehyung like that was something Hoseok would punch a million people to avoid. He knew that this guy had been the one that everyone had expected Taehyung to be with. He was sure it had to do with why Taehyung had refused to be anything but neighbors. Hoseok hoped that one day Taehyung would forgive him for punching people he knew, and would explain why he was so scared. Why he wouldn’t let Hoseok help him. 

For now, Hoseok would settle for just a message letting him know he was okay. He had seen how his head had bounced off the floor when he passed out, and he tried to help but Jimin had been ferally protective, snarling a “Haven’t you done enough?” to him as he and Jungkook passed with him in their arms. He wasn’t winning any points with them it seemed. He drank his water from a straw and leaned against the counter. Maybe he would just have to get used to being alone now.

 

The afternoon after the whole fight ordeal, after he had talked way too long about it with Seokjin and Yoongi (who had very conflicting opinions about the whole thing, Seokjin was appalled and hoped he hadn’t gotten any blood on his clothes, and Yoongi had promised to take him out to eat once they had free time), he went to the store. He figured now was as good a time as any to try and get groceries. He struggled on his walk home, thinking this could have all been avoided with a delivery, but managed to carry his bags the whole block and not do more damage to his hand. He was in the elevator when he heard a voice he didn’t realize until then he had been dreading.

“Seok-hyung!” Taehyung ran into the elevator, face flushed and hair messy as he slid in between the closing doors. “I’m glad I caught you. You walk fast,” he said, smiling. Hoseok felt a little bewildered. 

“Hi,” he managed, watching as Taehyung fixed his hair in the elevator mirror.

“I just came from work, I'm doing something for Hyungwon’s charity thing. He asked me to help today.” Hoseok nodded mutely. Right. He had to apologize to them for the mess he probably made, and for disrupting their huge, expensive party. “He says hi by the way,” Taehyung smiled and Hoseok frowned a little. Something weird was going on. This much small talk was strange between them. Wasn’t he mad anyways? When was he going to yell? Or at least tell him off? “Did you get your hand looked at?” 

Hoseok looked at him, concern was written on his face, his sweet, pretty face that Hoseok wanted to hold in his hands and apologize. “Yeah, I did. It’ll be fine, it’s just some bruising.” He held his right hand up, struggling for a moment with his bags. 

“We match now,” Taehyung joked, holding his own hand up, brushing them together for a moment. He didn’t wear bandages anymore, he had light lines of red across the part where he had hit them, and spots of bruising but they were still pretty under all their damage. He closed his in a fist and winced when the tape tugged. 

“Yeah we do.” The elevator was silent until it rang at their floor and the doors opened. 

“Here, let me help you,” Taehyung offered, taking some of his bags before he could protest. Taehyung led the way down the hall and stood at Hoseok’s door, waiting for him to unlock it. Hoseok said nothing as he unlocked his door and let Taehyung in first, carefully closing it behind him and throwing his keys onto the hallway table. 

“They go in the kitchen-” he said, watching as Taehyung made a beeline for the kitchen, putting his stuff on the counter and starting to unpack. He began to talk again, random things about his work and about Jimin and Jungkook, and about how he didn’t know when Namjoon would introduce him to his boyfriend, at which Hoseok internally chuckled at. Hoseok unpacked the bags he had carried and Taehyung waved him off. 

“I can do it, you go sit.” Hoseok blinked at him and then went to sit at the table, watching as Taehyung kept unpacking. When he finished he put the bags in the pantry in a neat, folded stack, and he sat down at the table. He almost sprung back up, saying something about getting Hoseok some water, but Hoseok put his hand over Taehyung’s.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked, looking at him, confused. “Why aren’t you mad?” he said, feeling shameful. He looked at the table.

“I owe you an apology.” Taehyung said, looking at their hands. “I haven’t told you the whole truth.” Hoseok nodded. He had suspected that. “And after what i did to you, and after what you did for me,” Taehyung shrugged. “I guess I owe you the truth.” Hoseok frowned. 

“You don’t have to-” Taehyung lifted his other hand. 

“It’s fine. I decided to tell you because I want you to know too. I want to be honest with you, and I guess in a way, to myself.” Hoseok nodded slowly, not quite understanding but glad that he wasn’t mad. “It’s a kind of a long story though,” Taehyung said, looking at him like Hoseok might say no and kick him out. Hoseok shrugged, smiling a little. 

“I have time.” Taehyung looked at him for a moment before he spoke.

"I met him in high school..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *suspense* i hope this was good! please leave a comment and kudos if u liked this, they help me stay motivated and keep writing. i'll be updating my skz fic soon and i may post another fic soon, maybe for ateez? who knows lol  
> i have a lot of free time now that i don't have school for a week :]
> 
> lots of love,  
> Kay <3


	9. come closer, my world is full of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey ho, im back at it again :o
> 
> this is hopefully the next to last chapter of this fic. it's honestly lasted much longer than i thought, and i am so grateful to everyone who has read this, left kudos and comments on it. i hope this has been as fun for u as it has for me! i hope to finish this before the end of the month, so we only have a little ways to go :D 
> 
> i will hopefully be moving on to a few ideas i have for other groups, i have a poly tenkuncas idea, and i may or may not be harboring a huge love for ot8 ateez rn, so we shall see what i get a hankering to write for. :P i will also keep adding to my skz fic, it's just a bit harder as i no longer have schoolmates to copy random stupid shit they say from since im working from home lol i ever thought i would miss their shenanigans this much :')
> 
> pls enjoy this new chapter!   
>  Kay

“So, yeah. I guess that’s it.” 

Taehyung sat in the quiet of the kitchen, looking at their still connected hands as he finished speaking. He had told him everything, letting Hoseok into a huge part of himself that he had kept hidden for a long time. He didn’t think this kind of openness would ever feel good, but he felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, looking at how Hoseok was blinking at him with an almost blank look on his face. It could be a lot of information to take in at once. 

“You’re amazing,” he said, his eyes wide. Taehyung stared at him. That’s not what he had expected. He thought an outpouring of pity would happen, like when he had told his parents, or when he had made the mistake of thinking that one of his makeup artists would know what to do. But Hoseok just held his hand a little tighter and looked at him like he had started glowing. “You’re so strong. You’ve come such a long way. I’m really proud of you.” Hoseok’s smile was like a cloud moving away from the sun, and Taehyung felt himself getting warm. 

“I- thanks,” he said, feeling his cheeks heat up as he looked away again. “I had help,” Taehyung admitted, tracing the lines of the wood of the table. “My friends were part of the reason why I could tell you.” Hoseok reached out to brush a strand of his hair back behind his ear, touching his cheek with light fingertips, sending a shock down Taehyung’s spine. There was a momentary silence where they looked at each other and Taehyung’s brain was sending alerts until Hoseok spoke, pulling his hand away. 

“I don’t think Jimin likes me,” he said, frowning a little and Taehyung huffed a laugh. 

“He doesn’t like many new men in my life. He thinks they’re all like Sehun.” Hoseok’s face grew serious. 

“I’m not like him.” His voice was firm and his face made Taehyung laugh a little harder. “I know. I like that about you.” There was a lot more truth in Taehyung’s words than Hoseok would ever know. It had taken Taehyung a while to realize that he wasn’t Sehun. He wasn’t going to hurt him. They were different. And it was okay to feel something because of that. To be reassured. 

“Thanks,” Hoseok laughed. There was a silence again, but this time it was comfortable, and Taehyung let himself enjoy the warm feeling of Hoseok’s hand in his. The logical part of his brain was telling him that he was letting him too close, but for once he didn’t care. He let the feeling of warmth run from Hoseok’s hand to his, up his arm and along his chest. 

Maybe it was okay now. 

````````````````````````````````````````````

Hoseok wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be feeling. 

He got a text from Taehyung earlier that afternoon that didn’t say much but a time and an address. The following text said “Hope to see you there!” with about 10 different animal and plant emojis. He ended up grinning into his hand like a fool, ignoring the tittering from his students.

“Hoseok-hyung has a crush!” One of them crowed, his smile wide from where he stood at the barre. Hoseok met his comment with a hum and a teasing smile.

“Mark, I’m sure Jongin has great posture, but you need to focus forward, not stare at him.” Laughter broke out as Mark turned a shade of red akin to a tomato, and Jongin’s back straightened out as he smiled widely. Hoseok wasn’t blind, and they were cute together. It was all in good fun either way, and he always made sure to keep his comments lighthearted. After class was finished, he sat on the floor, stretching as he texted back a quick reply, saying he would be there, and sent a few nervous emojis. He watched as it was read almost immediately, and was interrupted from watching the little dots bounce up and down by Seokjin’s voice.

“Hoseok.” Hoseok looked up, a little reluctantly as he saw Taehyung’s message pop up.

“Hey,” he said back, smiling at Seokjin who stood over him, hip cocked with his arms crossed.“What’s up?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as he looked at his face. 

“‘What’s up?’” Seokjin mocked, his voice going high. Hoseok blinked. “Me and Yoongi haven’t seen you in actual years, I should be the one asking you that,” Seokjin snapped, his face set into a frown and flushed. Hoseok held back a laugh as Seokjin continued, his face getting more and more red as he kept talking. “-we practically raised you and this is how you treat us? I can’t even think of a time when i didn’t speak to you, I have always been there, and I have always made you a part of my life because that’s what friends do- _did you just take a fucking picture of me?!_ ” Hoseok couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled out of him, and he fell back, laying out on the floor as Seokjin screeched abuse at him.

“What are you doing?” Yoongi’s voice cut across the whole mess of noise, and Hoseok sat up, wiping his eyes.

“Hi hyung,” he said, still giggling as Seokjin stood and glared at him. “Seokjin I’m sorry I didn’t message you, I just had a bit of a wild weekend,” he explained, trying to keep from laughing at how mad Seokjin looked. “I meant to text you last night but i fell asleep before i could remember.” Seokjin opened his mouth to presumably keep ranting, but Yoongi lay a hand on his shoulder. 

“Jin, I'm sure he didn’t mean to not text us. He’d never do that kind of thing on purpose, you know that.” Seokjin huffed, his anger seeming to evaporate.

“You worried the shit out of me,” he said, and Hoseok nodded solemnly. 

“I know, I'm sorry hyung.” Yoongi looked over at him.

“Maybe we should eat together, catch up, that sort of thing.” Hoseok nodded, standing up. 

“Sure, I’m free today. I have to practice, but I'll be done by 3.” Seokjin nodded, finally returned to his normal shade, reaching out to hug Hoseok, which he returned. 

“Don’t do that again.” Seokjin’s face was dead serious, and Hoseok swore to never forget again. They left him in the quiet studio, and he checked his messages. He smiled again as he saw Taheyung’s reply, which was a simple smiley face. He turned the screen of his phone off and got up to dim the lights and play his music. Time to work. 

````````````````````````````````````````````

Everything was going great. 

Much better than the first time Taehyung tried to introduce a part of his life to Hoseok. His friends liked him, talking and laughing almost right away, Hoseok’s easygoing smile and his genuine interest in them as people making them ease out of their usual awkwardness. Taehyung was glad he got along well with them, hopeful for future get-togethers. When Jungkook broke out the Mario Kart, a competitive gleam shone in Hoseok’s eyes, and Taehyung knew he would get along splendidly with them.

Everything was fine, until Taehyung noticed the look on Jimin’s face. He looked upset, mad even, like Hoseok was personally offending him by being in his living room. Taehyung didn’t know why he would be so angry, especially since he liked having people over all the time (Jungkook called him an attention hoe once and got whacked with a spoon), he was a natural people pleaser and loved playing host. But he sat alone, separate from the others, not laughing with them, and not speaking to Hoseok at all. Taehyung frowned and tried to make eye contact with him, but it seemed like he was refusing to acknowledge anyone in the room. He decided to talk about it with him later and just try to enjoy the moment of having Jungkook get his ass whipped at Mario Kart for once. 

`````````

“I still don’t understand why you invited him.” 

Hoseok had left already to prep for a class he had the next day and Taehyung had migrated to the kitchen to watch as Jimin put things away. Jimin’s face was twisted into a frown as he washed the glasses they had all used and Taehyung pouted.

“I told you, it’s because I wanted you guys to meet properly.” Jungkook hummed in agreement from the other side of the counter as he chugged from a glass of water. He was always excited to drink water, Taehyung had let that just become one of the weird things that Jungkook did. 

“Yeah, I mean that guy got to punch Sehun, I've wanted to do that for a long time. He’s cool,” Jungkook said, his eyes wide as he watched Jimin turn his frown on him. 

“While I agree that he did us all a favor by punching that asshole,” he set the last glass out with a clink and turned to look at Taehyung with a firm gaze. “I still think he’s all wrong.” 

“What happened to trying things out and that he might be good for me?” Taehyung smiled slightly and Jimin shook his head. 

“I was obviously...unaware of the situation,” Jimin said, focusing on emptying a bag of snacks into a bowl. Taehyung frowned even as Jungkook laughed at Jimin’s reluctance to say he was wrong. He hated admitting that almost as much as he hated being called short. “Did you forget what he did to your hands? That he made you pass out?” Jimin looked at him disbelievingly. 

“He didn’t know about me and Sehun until I told him. He had no way of knowing that he was saying something that hurt me. He also apologized, which he didn’t even have to do because I was the one being stupid anyways.” Jimin looked at him, his gaze going down to his still lightly scarred hands. He had clearly never been able to forgive Hoseok for what he had said that made Taehyung so upset he forgot to watch where he put his hands. “He was also trying to save me from getting assaulted by my insane ex. There isn’t much room to be exactly gentle with that,” Taehyung said. 

“He should have been more careful,” Jimin insisted, tossing the snack bag into the trash. “Also, how about letting us know when there are random people you want to bring to our night?” he said, his voice getting an edge to it. Taehyung felt a tinge of annoyance. Who died and made him king? 

“No one said I couldn't bring him,” Taehyung said, hating the defensive whine that was edging into his voice. He didn’t see anything wrong with having Hoseok join them, but clearly Jimin did and speaking like that would make it seem like Taehyung felt guilty about it. Which he didn’t.

“No one said you _could._ This isn’t your house, and we don’t even know him. He didn’t even know this was a game night,” Jimin looked at Taehyung with a frown. Taehyung felt himself frown too, and he knew Jimin was upset for real. 

“Sorry, I didn't know this was a dictatorship,” he muttered into a water cup as he turned to drink water furiously.

“Excuse me?” Jimin looked annoyed now.

“You always have to be in charge. He’s just a friend I wanted you guys to meet, that’s all.” Jimin crossed his arms. 

“I’m surprised you found him interesting enough to share with us, what with you lack of interest in anything anymore.” Taehyung flinched slightly, feeling a sting. He knew that maybe he wasn’t as happy-go-lucky as he was before Sehun broke up with him, but he didn’t think he was boring. “I’m surprised you can find time for any of us besides him. He’s all you’ve been talking about for a while and we all know how you get with your obsessions.” Jimin’s faux polite smile felt cruel and Taehyung felt his eyebrow twitch.

“Can I say something?” Jungkook said, putting his water glass down.

“ _No,_ ” Taehyung and Jimin said in unison, making Jungkook lift his hands and walk away.

“You should have asked,” Jimin continued once Jungkook had left. “This is my house. Not only that, that guy is a jerk. I don’t want him around.” There was silence of a moment, and Taehyung glared at the floor, feeling stupid and irritated. 

“Who I like isn’t anything that should concern you, I'm a grown up,” he said, and Jimin scoffed a little. 

“You don’t actually _like_ him, do you?” Taehyung said nothing, feeling his cheeks heat up as he tried to think of something to respond with. He should have kept that part out. Jimin continued. “He’s not right for you. He’s insensitive and you can do way better-” 

“Like Sehun, right? I mean you introduced him to me, how could anything be wrong with him? Sorry if I don’t jump at your claims of knowing who’s good for me.” Jimin looked like Taehyung had just slapped him, and the effect would have been comedic if Taehyung wasn’t so mad. “Why can’t you just accept that he’s someone I care about and move on? He’s not done anything to you, and what he and I have going on is none of you fucking business.” The tone Taehyung was speaking with shocked a tiny part of his brain that he ignored and he turned away from him. 

“I can’t believe you. After I helped you put your life back together, you just throw that back into my face? Some friend you are,” Jimin spat, his face screwed up with anger as Taehyung wheeled back around. 

“Yeah, maybe we aren’t anymore. Sorry for bothering you for so long.” He strode out of the kitchen. He hadn’t registered that they had been shouting but from Jungkook and Namjoon’s expressions they had heard most if not all of the discussion. Taehyung said nothing, brushing past Jungkook who looked after him before darting into the kitchen. He hated Jimin right now, it was better if he didn’t interact with Jungkook until he could think straight again. Namjoon looked at Taehyung with worried eyes.

“I don’t even want to hear it from you,” he snapped as he grabbed his things.

“I didn’t say anything.” Namjoon’s eyes followed him and Taehyung suddenly hated him too.

“You have less to say than Jimin. I’m sure he approved of whoever you’re fucking now, didn’t he?” Namjoon said nothing, if turned a little pink. “Right. Well enjoy your validation.” Taehyung turned on his heel, pulling his coat on as he flung the door open and shut behind him. He didn’t even realize he was crying until he got to the elevator. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure this is right?” 

Ten’s voice made him look up. His friend and fellow teacher was eyeing him as he lay on the floor panting, wishing he had made the choreography easier. 

“Yeah, it is,” he said, hearing the snip in his voice and wincing. Ten raised a delicate, slit eyebrow at his tone. “Sorry. I guess I’m just distracted.” Ten hummed and came over to his side and squatted down at his head. 

“Let me guess. It’s that Taehyung guy isn’t it?” Hoseok lifted his head quickly, the floor spinning under him from the movement and he groaned. 

“How did you know?” he asked, looking up at Ten who sat on the floor, his legs crossed elegantly. 

“Word travels when you punch a guy at a party with rich people who love to gossip,” Ten said, grinning at Hoseok’s face. He bumped his head back on the floor and shut his eyes. Leave it to Ten to have connections at a boujee place like that. “My friend saw you playing street fighter and told me. You’re lucky you didn’t get caught by the cops,” Ten said, and Hoseok shook his head and opened his eyes.

“Yeah I guess so. Let’s keep going.” he sat up and Ten gave him an unimpressed look.

“Not until you let go of whatever you’re holding in. You know as well as I do you can’t keep secrets when you dance. Especially not you.” Hoseok huffed, letting his shoulders slump a little, and he looked at the ground, tracing a scuff on the floor with a fingertip.

“Taehyung. We’re friends. But his friend doesn’t like me. He got into a fight about it and they aren’t talking.” Ten hummed and nodded. 

"Right. How long ago did they fight?” Hoseok did a mental count.

“Like a week ago.” Ten raised both eyebrows now, and he gave a small laugh. 

“Wow. Okay. What did you tell him?” Hoseok looked up at the ceiling and then down at Ten. 

“I told him the truth. It’s my fault his friend doesn’t like me, I said something once to Taehyung that hurt him, not on purpose of course but his friend cares a lot about him, and I thought I was helping, I didn’t think it was a big deal but it was, and now he hates me and I don’t know what to do-” Ten lifted his hand and Hoseok stopped talking. Ten cleared his throat before speaking. 

“First, it seems like you really care about Taehyung,” Hosoek nodded in reply, feeling his face heat up. “If you do, then it should be fairly important to you that he makes up with his friend. So then you should go talk to his friend in person and put an end to this.” Ten looked at him with a look of satisfaction as Hoseok gaped. Go speak to Jimin? He would probably behead him before he spoke to him. “He might hate you, but if he sees how much you care about his friend then that should help him come to terms with you and let go of whatever he has against his friend.” Hoseok blinked at him, feeling slow. What part of them not getting along did he not explain properly? 

“But what if-” Ten held his hand up again. 

“Isn’t he worth it?” Hoseok stared. Ten was right. Taehyung deserved to have someone help him, and if he wasn’t doing it himself, maybe the situation needed a push from the other side. His brow set and he got up, tugging Ten up along with him. 

“I’m ready.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“No! I can’t believe you did that!” 

Taehyung watched in despair as the last contestant put the wrong answer and lost all his prize money. 

“The answer was Mozart you idiot, everyone knows that.” He stuck a strawberry in his mouth and chewed furiously as he watched the others get the answer right. Taehyung had been spending most of his afternoons like this, laying on the couch and watching jeopardy as he vehemently ignored the lack of texts he got. Sometimes Hoseok would come around and they would eat or they would watch a movie, something Taehyung grew to depend on. Taehyung had been trying to forget Jimin, but his life was pretty much built around his best friend. It seemed like Taehyung’s life was destined to be devoted to trying to forget assorted amounts of men in his life. He sighed through his nose, feeling sad and lonely not for the first time. He hated fighting, and he hated not talking to Jimin even more. They had been in each other’s lives for far too long, being the only people they could depend on at times, and he had never argued with him this angrily before. He felt guilt gnaw at him as he curled up, pulling his legs up onto the couch. 

“If you don’t get the next one right you’re fucked,” he said to the guy on TV. “You and me both,” he said before looking up at the ceiling. What was he supposed to do? He didn’t want to go to Jimin and have him be too angry to accept his apology, and he knew that if he did apologize that he would cry and that would be a big waste of tears and time.

Taehyung huffed, his bangs lifting slightly. He wouldn’t be able to recover if Jimin decided to never speak to him ever again. This painful silence was better than nothing ever. At least he knew that apologizing was an option, even if he never took it. He felt a blizzard of emotions begin to well up inside him and he grabbed a pillow to twist it up. 

The first time the doorbell rang Taehyung thought it was the TV making the noise, but when he looked up and heard it again he jumped up. The scuttled over to the door before darting back to turn the TV off and run a hand through his hair. He probably looked like he had been laying around doing nothing but maybe whoever it was wouldn’t notice. He pulled the door open and began to greet the person before he cut himself off.

“Oh.” Namjoon stood in the doorway, his eyebrows raised as he took in Taehyung’s sweatpants and hoodie plus fluffy socks combo, the tiniest of smiles flickering at his mouth. “Can I help you?” he asked, feeling suddenly very exposed and angry. Namjoon was sure to be on Jimin’s side, why else would he be here? 

“Yeah, I’m here to talk to you,” Namjoon brushed past him, walking into the living room and taking in the dishes surrounding the couch. 

“Actually,” Taehyung said, “I'm very busy right now so please leave,” he waved a hand at the door he was still holding open. 

“Yeah, I can see that.” Namjoon picked up a few plates and took them to the kitchen. 

“Hello? Are you deaf?” Taehyung asked indignantly, feeling like this was how people with children felt all the time.

“I need to talk to you.” Namjoon said more firmly, when he came back from the kitchen.

“Fine.” Taehyung slammed his door, crossing his arms and not moving. Namjoon stared at him, and Taehyung huffed. “Well? What do you want?” he said, his voice getting more irritated as he watched him stand there. He moved over to the couch and let himself fall into it. He looked at Namjoon without blinking and Namjoon cleared his throat, the small sign of discomfort making Taehyung feel minutely triumphant. 

“You’re stupid.”

Taehyung blinked, completely thrown. Namjoon was usually much kinder, he was always the one that Taehyung would go to when he needed to be kindly encouraged. He opposed Jimin in many ways and Taehyung was grateful for that. But now the words coming from him made his brown furrow. 

“Is that all Jimin wants you to say to me?” he said, feeling his throat close up and catch as he spoke. 

“I’m not here because of him. I’m here because you’re being stupid. Both of you.” Taehyung felt his brown furrow even more. “You guys are best friends, and you’re letting some guy come between you? Aren’t you better than that?” Taehyung opened his mouth to protest but Namjoon barreled on. “Jimin is a mess and so are you. Neither of you can man up and do what you have to and now both of you are suffering because of it. Jimin said trash things to you, but you fought fire with fire. You need to go make up with him.” Taehyung felt a little shell shocked at Namjoon’s strong words and sat there, blinking up at him. Namjoon took a breath. “And just so you know, I’m actually dating Hoseok’s friends. So don’t think that I’m taking sides on this bullshit fight you guys are having. I have skin in the game, and you guys are all too important to me for me to just sit here and do nothing.” Taehyung frowned.

“Wait. _Friends?_ As in more than one?” his head spun. So that's that he was hiding. Namjoon’s skittish nature when it came to talking about who he was dating currently made much more sense.

“What about it?” Namjoon’s cheeks were pink but his brow was set firmly and he looked determined.

“Nothing! I’m just surprised.” He squared his shoulders off. He didn’t care how many people Namjoon was dating. “Are you happy?” he asked, his gaze serious and unwavering as Namjoon blinked back at him in surprise.

“I- yeah. I am. Very happy actually.” His eyes went all soft and a part of Taehyung wanted to just ignore the problem at hand and just talk about Namjoon.

“I’m glad. All I ask is for Jimin to let me be happy too.” Namjoon’s face turned serious and he looked at Taehyung with a kind of desperation in his eyes. 

“He feels awful about it. He said some things he shouldn’t have, but so did you. All I'm asking is you come over and see what he has to say. Please.” Taehyung looked away, picking at the pillow in his lap and wishing he was stronger. If he was stronger than maybe he would have been able to say no to Sehun in the first place. He might have found Hoseok a long time ago then, and maybe they would all have been friends, without this whole mess on his hands. He looked down at the soft pink lines that traced his knuckles.

“I feel bad about it too. But I’m not dropping Hoseok just because Jimin has some stupid, shitty reason behind it. I just want them to get along.” The end of his sentence was like a plea, and Namjoon came to his side, hugging him close. 

“I know. I want that too. But you both owe it to each other to listen properly first. You guys would hate yourselves forever if you walked out of this without trying to fix it first.” Taehyung let his head fall onto Namjoon’s shoulder and he sighed.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you the other day. I didn’t mean it.” Namjoon snorted a little, and Taehyung looked up at him. “Well, maybe I did in the moment but I don't anymore.” Namjoon smiled. 

“I know. You were right though, Jimin did approve of them. Seokjin hyung made cookies for them so of course they loved him.” Namjoon rolled his eyes and Taehyung laughed. 

“He’s a great cook. And I’m sure Yoongi is cool too, Hoseok’s told me all about them. I’m glad they make you happy hyung.” Namjoon looked at him earnestly.

“I’m glad you’re in a good place with Hoseok. He’s a sweet guy.” Taehyung hummed, letting himself flop back onto the couch. 

“Yeah. He is, isn’t he?” Namjoon looked at him for a moment. 

“If you go out with him, I won’t disapprove.” Taehyung felt his face get red and he mock-glared at Namjoon.

“Yeah right. Thanks hyung.” Namjoon shrugged and got up. 

“I wouldn’t. Please tell me you’ll talk to Jimin and fix things now.” Taehyung nodded and stood to let Namjoon out. 

“I’ll do it later tonight. I promise.” he opened the door to let Namjoon leave and he saw a familiar head of dark hair in the hall. “Hoseok?” His neighbor whipped around and Taehyung smiled at him. Hoseok blinked at him a moment, like he was confused.

“Oh! Hey,” he smiled back and Taehyung felt his own smile falter at his forced grin. 

“What're you up to?” Hoseok was dressed to go out, his coat and scarf on as he held his keys. 

“Oh, just. You know, going out and stuff. I’m gonna see someone.” Taehyung pursed his lips and nodded. Why did that make his stomach drop like a rock? It was good that Hoseok had other friends, in the long run it was probably better that they spent less time around each other anyways. Taehyung could vaguely remember when that was his game plan, to just stay away from him. The thought of them sitting at Hoseok’s kitchen table, the way Hoseok’s eyes shone in the light, how warm his hand was in his…

”Oh hey Namjoon! I didn’t see you come around,” Hoseok said, his eyes going to Namjoon and Taehyung felt a weird urge to explain his friend’s presence. 

“He came to check up on me.” Hoseok nodded. 

“That’s a great idea. Thanks for doing that, I meant to go and check up on Taehyung today but I got caught up in class. I’m gonna have to raincheck on hanging out tonight too, sorry Tae.” Taehyung nodded again, feeling a little (a lot) empty. 

“That’s okay. Have fun with...whoever you’re meeting.” Hoseok snort-laughed, his eyebrows raising. 

“I’ll try.” Taehyung frowned. Namjoon hugged him goodbye but he barely felt it, and when he left Taehyung closed the door with a stronger push than he meant. The door slammed and he left the messy couch and went to his room. He fell onto his bed, grabbing his phone and turning the screen on, suddenly hyper aware of the lack of people he had to text. He opened his messages and looked for Hoseok’s name, and looked at their messages. The little cursor was blinking at him and he stared. Part of him wanted to gush all he felt into a message, expose every part of him that he was tired of hiding. But another part (a much bigger part) knew that was idiotic. He was frozen, looking at the last message Hoseok sent him, a cute gif of a dog carrying a paper heart. Taehyung stared at it until his eyes hurt, then he turned the phone screen off and rolled over. 

He hugged his knees to his chest and he let himself wish. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hoseok’s heart was pounding.

He didn’t think this whole covert operation would be this difficult. Avoiding Taehyung’s eyes had been the best way he could think of keeping his motives secret. He knew that he would have spilled his guts if he had looked at Taehyung’s warm amber eyes.

“I’m so fucking dumb,” he muttered to himself, looking at his phone to comfirm his location. This was the address, and he could remember the building pretty well. He stood outside the entrance, wishing he didn’t like Taehyung as much as he did, and trying not to think too much about how mad Jimin might be when he saw him. He took a deep breath and went inside. He got to the right floor and walked around until he found the right place. He stood outside for a moment and then finally steeled himself enough to knock. There was a bit of noise from the other side, and then the door swung open. Jungkook stood there, clad in basketball shorts and some kind of athletic shirt which strained at the arms (Hoseok cautiously noticed). His eyes went wide and he quickly pulled the door almost shut behind him. 

“What're you doing here?” he hissed, and Hoseok cleared his throat. 

“I’m here to talk to Jimin.” Jungkook looked surprised and the door opened behind him. 

“Kook, who-” Jimin was stood behind his boyfriend, his face blank as he stared at Hoseok. “Good-bye,” he said, pulling Jungkook into the apartment and closing the door. Before he could close it all the way, Hoseok dove forward and pushed against it, keeping it open a crack. 

“Jimin please! I just want to talk for a moment. It’s about Taehyung.” The pressure behind the door eased up and Hoseok pushed it all the way open. Jimin stood stock still, his hand still fisted in Jungkook’s t-shirt as he now glared at Hoseok. Hoseok swallowed. He was tiny but fierce, and he could tell why Taehyung always joked about siccing him on people. 

“What the fuck do you want.” It wasn’t even a question, but Jimin looked at him, his face stoic but his eyes burning holes into Hoseok. 

“I know you’re mad at Taehyung. And I know that part of it is my fault, because I was less than kind to you when we met, and I know that I hurt Taehyung. I will never forgive myself for that,” he said, trying to gauge Jimin’s reaction. He was still serious, his face blank, but his eyes weren’t burning as much anymore. “I know you care about him, I do too. I would never do something to hurt him intentionally. And I know this whole thing is probably killing you too.” Jimin made a small noise, and Jungkook wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He leaned down and whispered something into his ear and Jimin shook his head.

“Taehyung is so broken about this. Please, just hear him out. You both have good reason to be upset, but you can’t block him out. I know you want to fix things just as bad as he does.” Jimin looked down at the floor, and Hoseok neared the doorway, still cautious. He didn’t want to startle him.

“Did he make you come here?” Jimin asked, his voice tight as he looked up at Hoseok. He looked tired and sad, his eyes shining with tears. 

“No. I came because I know how much you mean to him. I don’t want him to have to pick between us.” 

“And you don't have to.” Hoseok jumped almost a mile into the air when he heard the voice behind him. 

“Tae?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope u enjoyed this chapter! pls leave a kudos if you did and a comment even if you didn't, i always take constructive criticism :)
> 
> don't forget to stay home yall, we can beat this if we listen to the voices of reason. <3 
> 
> stay safe and healthy!   
>  Kay <3


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